#I WROTE SO MUCH
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iii. winter
part three of confetti ⊠previous part ⊠series masterlist ⊠archive link
pairing: Single Dad!Steve Harrington/Female Reader
summary: As Hawkins enters the winter months, Steve starts thinking seriously about his romantic relationships - past and potential future ones - and isnât sure heâs ready to let someone become a serious part of his and Cassieâs life. The problem isâŠhe hasnât been able to stop thinking about you.
warnings/extra tags: cursing, mentions of alcohol, the softest vanilla SMUT Iâve ever written like it's pretty vague but still enough to be considered nsfw so read at your own discretion, surprise character appearances, a parent trap alskjaskja, angsty tm so beware, daddy steve being my (your) beloved, go give @gothbitchshit a bouquet of flowers for dealing with me and these ridiculously long chapters, edited by me have mercy this chapter has been the beautiful bane of my existence
note: i publicly apologize for this being posted well into spring. Not to be a basic author note but *insert the horrors and atrocities right here* i also apologize in advance for something else in the end...anyway, I hope you all enjoy this extra long chapter of single daddy steve đ
âŠâŠâŠ
Cassie loved the mall.Â
She really just enjoyed the vibrant colors of it as it was the complete opposite color scheme of Hawkins itself. It was bright, and always full, and lively, especially when Christmas was just around the corner. If Cassie were being honest though, she would say she enjoyed going to Starcourt because her dad would get her ice cream every time, even on a day like this where snow covered the ground outside.
Also, it meant she could get the full day to be with her dad, even if he was busy behind the ice cream counter in his silly sailor uniform, complete with the white hat that read âAHOYâ across the front that heâd somehow stuff his hair under.Â
Cassie was given a matching one, but it sat on the table top of the booth she was currently sitting in, headphones placed over her head instead. She was nodding her head to the music, kicking her feet out to its funky beat. She hadnât quite memorized the songs by title, rather by sound but she liked this one the most; really she liked all of them.Â
It had all she had been listening to since Steve had given her your walkman you gifted her, and Cassie had been waiting on another mixtape from you (she had practically begged you when she last saw you last week, which was at a school presentation for school safety, she remembersâŠshe also remembers looking over and seeing her dad pushing people just to stand by you).
In front of her was her over break homework packet, her math homework to be specific. Cassie prided herself in being good at it, having been applauded by her teacher Mrs. Holland numerous times in class. There were hardly any red marks on homework when it was returned to her, too, something her dad was always impressed by when sheâd bring it back to him, especially if he hadn't helped her at all, so she wasnât planning on falling behind.Â
She counted away at the images of the apples. This particular section she was working on was on addition and she meticulously counted them all together with her candy cane themed pencil her teacher had passed out to the class the week prior.Â
OneâŠtwoâŠthreeâŠfour⊠Â
Twenty-two, there were twenty-two apples. She filled it in on the empty box behind the equal sign.Â
The patrons were used to seeing Cassie here on occasion, though every so often somebody who was not from Hawkins and visiting from a neighboring town (as Starcourt was quite popular because of its size), would look at her and wonder why a little girl was sitting all by herself.Â
If they asked Cassie, sheâd simply point to her dad behind the counter and say, âIâm not alone! My daddy is right here!â Then, Steve would wave at her, and the person would awkwardly walk off. That was the typical Saturday spent at Scoops Ahoy, but today something different would happen, something neither Cassie nor Steve were expecting just a week before Christmas.Â
In the middle of Cassieâs music playing, someone had taken off her headphones. She had gasped, feeling her heart jump out of her chest with fear and confusion as to what happened- she hardly got upset, and her streak still stands as the moment she turned to see who had done such a thing, her irritation vanished.Â
âRobin!â Cassie shouted at the sight of the sandy blonde haired woman. She smiled widely at Cassie, opening her arms just as the little girl hopped into them, âI didnât know you were coming!âÂ
âLong time no see, huh Tiny Harrington?â Robin Buckley had said, embracing Cassie warmly as it had been a while since she last saw her favorite child, âWhereâs your dad? Is he- oh come on .âÂ
Her blue eyes darted to Steve behind the counter, not remembering the last time sheâd seen Steve in the ridiculous Scoops Ahoy uniform they had to wear the summer they became unlikely friends. Cassie giggled, taking Robinâs hand in hers and leading her toward the counter. Steve had yet to see them, too focused on making a U.S.S. Butterscotch (complete with some peppermint candy swirls for the Holidays). He hadn't even heard Cassie shout Robinâs name so excitedly.Â
Robin looked down at Cassie, placing a finger over her lips then winking at her as she rang the bell by the counter. Cassie giggled, but suppressed it as she didnât want to alarm her dad.
âBe right with you,â Steve called back to her, and Robin scoffed and rang it againâŠthen againâŠand then again. Steveâs shoulderâs visibly became tense, and he let out an exasperated sigh before he started to turn around.Â
âAlright, alright what can I-â he stopped when his eyes fell upon Robin, and she smirked at him, âOh my god, you didnât tell me you were coming, Robin? Holy shit-âÂ
âI wanted it to be a surprise- and it certainly is, â Robin gestured to Steve and then the entire place as she said, âYouâre working here ? I thought you said you got a third job last time we spoke.âÂ
Steveâs cheeks became flushed, embarrassed that Robin had caught him red handed like this. The truth was that Steve was actually hiding this job from Robin, keeping his third job he mentioned in passing to her whenever they spoke over the phone very vaguely .Â
âDaddy started working here in the summer,â Cassie stated, outing Steve even more and Robinâs jaw dropped, âI like it because I get free ice cream! He can get you free ice cream too, you know!âÂ
Robin looked at Cassie and ruffled her hair, âI spent way too much time in this place, Iâll pass on the ice cream, so heyâŠthat just means more ice cream for you.âÂ
Cassie looked confused, but with Robinâs final statement she grew more content and nodded eagerly at the idea of more ice cream.Â
âSo all summer youâve been working here, slinging ice cream- wearing the hat - you hated that hat,â Robin said, gesturing to him. Steve licked his suddenly dry lips, and turned away from Robin to finish completing the U.S.S. Butterscotch sundae as he said, âI needed a third job, and the manager remembered meâŠâÂ
âNo way. I thought he might have you on the âNever Working Here Againâ list after the summer you well- we got fired,â Robin chided, and Steve laughed sarcastically as he turned and placed the sundae down, calling out the name of the patron. They took it, a few younger girls, and thanked him shyly before running off giggling. Robin scoffed at that, and Steve appeared to not even notice they were clearly crushing on the sailor who worked at Scoops Ahoy.
âYeahâŠactually I had to bring Cassie up and he decided to give me the job when I proved she existedâŠhence why Iâm wearing the hat and followingâŠstupid company policy to keep the damn- ahem- dang job,â Steve finally replied, admitting that part to Robin. Robin crossed her arms, knowing that to be true as she had told Steve he could probably bring up that heâs a single dad and get away with anything.Â
âWell, Iâm not judging,â Robin lied, and Steve knew it, âYou just couldâve been honest about it.âÂ
She wondered what other things he had been keeping from herâŠ
âHow did you find me anyway?â Steve questioned, glancing down at Cassie who was gazing up at Robin with wonder and disbelief in her eyes that Robin was here. It made him smile softly before his eyes lifted back up to meet Robinâs.
âAre you kidding meâŠask any mom at the grocery store and I can get your entire schedule,â Robin said. She laughed at Steveâs horrified expression at the idea of that and waved him off as she said, âJoking. I asked Mrs. K and she said to check Scoops Ahoy. And here you areâŠshe just didnât say you would be working here.âÂ
She looked around, feeling nostalgia come over her from the memories in this mall ice cream parlor. She remembered the dread of being put on shifts with Steve Harrington, once King of Hawkins High and all around asshole, and thenâŠshe remembered the warmer parts, ones where they actually became friends and she started to actually have fun working and talking with him. He was very different than she thought he would be, and if someone had told her that first day she put on the silly sailor uniform and prayed a meteor would hit and kill her before her first shift with Steve that sheâd consider him her best friend in the futureâŠshe wouldâve laughed then cried into her hands dramatically.
âRobin, Robin,â Cassie was grabbing her hand, âHow long are you going to stay? Please say for like⊠months .âÂ
Robin smiled at Cassie and replied, âSorry kiddo, Iâm only here for a few days because Iâll start to miss my other favorite person, but before you get sad- I have a lot of things planned for us, including finding you an early Christmas gift. What do you say? Want to go check out some stores while your dad slings ice cream into cones?âÂ
Her brown eyes lit up, and she turned to her dad as she said, âCan I go with Robin, daddy?âÂ
Steve crossed his arms over his chest, and said, âDid you finish your homework?âÂ
Robin rolled her eyes for Cassie, but she had practically ran to the booth, and snatched the paper off of the table before running back and waving it in the air. Steve took it, giving it a once over, before he nodded.Â
âYeah, go ahead- make sure you stay with Robin though, Cass, you know how crazy Christmas shoppers could be,â he told Cassie with a pointed look, Cassie nodded again.Â
âI will, I promise!âÂ
âYou know Iâd never let anything happen to her, Popeye,â Robin said, bringing back the infamous nickname from their Scoops Ahoy days. Steve visibly grimaced at being called that, but he nodded, knowing that out of everyone he could trust Robin with his daughter.Â
âGreat, then weâll come back, weâll all go out to eat- hopefully you have a change of outfit- then weâll catch up, yeah?âÂ
âSounds like a plan,â Steve replied with a nod.Â
So, the two girls were off, Cassie holding on tightly to Robinâs hand and already talking her ear off (though Robin could give her a run for her money for sure) as they exited Scoops Ahoy together and entered the crowd of Starcourt Mall in search of a Christmas gift for Cassie.Â
⧠⧠â§
Cassie had dragged Robin to a lot of stores in the span of an hour and half, so much that Robinâs feet were already killing her, but she held on for Cassie as she seemed very particular on what she wantedâŠexcept the little girl wasnât really saying what it was exactly.Â
âYou clearly want something specific, Tiny, so come on- spit it out,â Robin told Cassie after the fifth store they came out with nothing. She didnât want to rush her, actually loving spending this time with Cassie as it had been since the beginning of the year she had enough time to make the trip down here from New York.Â
It was unusual for Cassie to not say what was on her mind, so whatever it wasâŠRobin was insanely curious.Â
âIs it something your dad wonât approve of?â Robin gasped when Cassie didnât reply right away, âOh- well now you gotta tell me.What is it?â
Cassie looked up at Robin with wide eyes as she said, âI want⊠roller skates , but I canât skate and Iâm scared that Santa knows that so he wonât get me them, but I really want them.âÂ
Robin did not expect that. Not at all. She stared at the little girl blankly, and for some reason the only use of roller skates she could think of was one of those outdoor hamburger places where the service workers wear skates. Do they do that still? Robin shook her head at her thought.Â
âSo you didnât ask Santa for them because you thought he probably wouldnât give you them because you canât skate?â Robin asked for further clarification. Cassie nodded, looking actually sad about it. Robin hummed in thought, looking around Starcourt, trying to remember a store here that sold roller skates for kids before she settled her eyes on Cassie, âWell thank god Iâm not Santa. Letâs go find you some, Tiny.âÂ
Cassie was actually the one to drag Robin to the store, very clearly having had her eye on some already. She was the one dragging Robin now, up until they got to this sportâs store Robin doesnât remember ever being here. Cassie led her toward the roller skates, saying hello to the worker who greeted them when they walked in, and then she stopped in front of a mini display.Â
They were purple skates with yellow flower designs on them and the wheels were a darker shade of purple. Very clearly they were training skates for kids like Cassie who want to learn. And, Robin noticed, they were also on sale , which is very, very common around the holidays and good for Robin.Â
âOh wow these are cute,â Robin complimented them and Cassie nodded excitedly.
âI saw them when my daddy brought us here to buy more shoes!â Cassie told Robin, âI really, really want them.â She pressed her hands against the display, and just then the same worker who had greeted them was approaching them.Â
âIs there anything I can help you with?â they had asked Robin. She looked at them, then pointed to the skates, telling Cassie to give them her shoe size. The worker nodded, saying theyâd be right back and for Cassie to take a seat.Â
She did as told, hopping onto one of the chairs and Robin leaned on one leg, wondering where Cassie mightâve found a sudden interest in roller skating. It canât have been Steve, both him and her were horrible at ice skating that one year when Cassie was only 4 they decided to go to the ice rink set up in Hawkins Downtown for the winter. And he seemed way too busy to have suddenly learned how to skate properlyâŠ
âSoâŠroller skates huh? Why the sudden interest? Your dadâs not skating again right? Because heâs horrible at it,â Robin said just as the worker returned with the proper sized skates. Robin shooed them away, deciding that she would help Cassie get them on herself. She knelt down in front of the girl as Cassie kicked her snow boots off, revealing candy cane themed socks.Â
Cassie laughed at Robinâs jab at her dad before she said, âNo, itâs his friend.âÂ
As Robin got the first skate on she shot Cassie a questionable look, âFriend? Your dadâs only friend is me .âÂ
Cassie nodded though, and then she said a name, your name, that Robin has never heard before in her life, at least out of Steveâs mouth.Â
âSheâs very nice! And I know that if I have these then sheâll teach me how to skate, she told me she used to skate all the time when she was little,â Cassie started to boast, a wide smile growing on her lips, eagerly talking about you .Â
All Robin could do though was stare at Cassie with a bewildered look as she thought she? A woman? Steveâs friends with a woman? Â
âWoah woah woah, wait- sheâs your dadâs friend ?âÂ
Cassie hummed, âMmhm, I really like herâŠand my daddy does too⊠a lot .â
She supposed that Steve was hiding a lot more from her than she thought, starting with him working at Scoops Ahoy again, and a mysterious woman Cassie claims he likes, in his daughterâs own words, a lot . Robin helped her get the other skate on, navigating in her mind this new information but deciding that she should get as much information as possible from Cassie before she definitely confronts Steve about it later.Â
âA mysterious lady your dad likes⊠interesting âŠtell me more about her, my tiny friend. What is she like? How do you know your dad likes her a lot? What have you seen ?âÂ
Cassie stared at her, hanging onto every question before she looked away in thought, even placing her hand into her chin before she started to first tell Robin how nice you were, how she would give you carrots for lunch because she didnât want them, she told her how you went apple picking with them and how you got Steve to actually bake (which shocked Robin very much), and how you even taught her to bake as well.Â
She boasted on and on about you, before ending it on spending Thanksgiving together (something that made Robinâs jaw promptly drop in complete surprise), and telling her about your gift, gesturing to the walkman headphones that rested on her neck.
âHoly shit,â Robin said, pleasantly surprised by all this information, and kind of miffed that Steve hadnât told her anything. She couldnât even find it in herself to censor herself as her thoughts ran rampant.Â
She knew Steve, before Cassie, before Cassieâs mom , and she knew him after as wellâŠthe possibility of him letting anyone in his life like this, so far as inviting them to a family dinner, seemed quite impossibleâŠand wellâŠat least she knew exactly what the main topic of discussion was going to be after Cassie goes to bed tonightâŠ
Robin turned her attention back onto the skates Cassie was currently wearing, setting aside her intentions with Steve for now, and she stood up, and held her hands out. Cassie took them, and Robin could feel them shaking underneath his grasp.Â
In fact, her legs were shaking too, like a newborn deer or something and it even made Robin nervous because she did not have good balance. She wondered if Cassie could ever want to learn how to skateâŠhow you , and every other roller skater did it too.Â
âI donât know about this CassieâŠâ Robin admitted to her, but Cassie clenched her jaw and shook her head.Â
âNoâŠno I want them,â she stated, forcing herself to become more confident, âShe will teach me if I have themâŠand then Iâll get good at it and maybe I can teach my daddy too how to skate.âÂ
The thought made Robin laugh, and she stepped backwards, Cassie rolling along with her, and almost falling forward and falling on her face had Robin not been holding her, ïżœïżœGeeâŠthese are definitely not Steve of ApprovedâŠbut honestlyâŠlooks like I have competition here with gift-givingâŠâ
Robinâs eyes moved to the walk-man, before she rolled Cassie back to sit down and said, âOkay, Iâll get them for youâŠbut Iâm getting you literally every protection gear this place has to offer so your dad doesnât have a heart attack.âÂ
Cassie almost cried with happiness, already kicking them off so they could gather the rest of her gift around the store.Â
Afterwards, Robin decided to treat Cassie to a movie, buying her whatever snack she wanted and the largest popcorn as well. She enjoyed every second of it, giddy already because of the skates that were packed away into a shopping bag.Â
Then, they returned to Scoops Ahoy just in time for Steveâs shift to come to an end. He had changed his outfit completely, wearing a striped sweater underneath the jacket he was currently zipping up and a pair of jeans. The outfit change made total sense considering the current snowy climate outside.Â
Cassie was calling him, running into the ice cream parlor and he was quick to catch her and lift her up into his arms with a wide loving smile on his face. Robin strolled up a few seconds after, and Cassie hopped out of her dadâs arms and started to tell him that her Aunt Robin got her a gift.Â
Steve stared at the large bag, and Robin smirked as she set it down on one of the empty tables as Steve said cautiously, âUhâŠwhat did she get you?...What did you get her?â Steve was looking at Robin now almost suspiciously and Cassie climbed onto a chair.Â
âRoller skates! She got me roller skates!âÂ
Steveâs brown eyes widened at Cassieâs answer, and Robin pulled out the box to show him the skates properly.Â
âRobin- are you- are you serious?â Steve asked, being sure to not sound or look mad in front of Cassie, especially with how excited she seemed to be about this, but he was just concerned with how safe these things would be, already imagining Cassie falling and crying. The idea simply hurt his chest and filled him with fatherly fear.Â
âSure am,â Robin said, slapping the side of the roller skates like a brand new car, âDonât worry, Popeye, I bought her the latest of protection gear, if she falls the ground would be more hurt than her.âÂ
Steve crossed his arms, still baffled by the gift.Â
âBesides, I need to make sure I remain Cassieâs favorite aunt by coming to town once in a while and getting her whatever she wants,â Robin added, smiling at Cassie who was still beaming about the skates.Â
Steve shook his head, amused by Robinâs statement and then he said, âIâm still notâŠI donât know, I didnât even know you wanted roller skates Cass.â
Cassie seemed to finally sense her dadâs hesitation, and she quickly turned to him and claimed that she would be careful, and that you could teach her.Â
At the mention of your name, Steve felt the air in his chest release softly and his cheeks had grown quite warm, wondering how it didnât occur to him that you were the reason for her newfound interest in this. It almost made him smile widely, but he settled on a small one that was barely visible.Â
It was visible enough for Robin though who had made sure to look at Steve when Cassie mentioned you. She saw his flushed cheeks, his sudden hesitation all but vanishing in mere seconds. And then Steve settled his eyes back on the skates then at Cassie before he started to nod.Â
âAlright, yeah, thatâs trueâŠsheâs gonna love that you got a pair,â Steve said, voice filled with the warmth that matched his cheeks and now his chest. Cassie cheered, then Robin cheered too with Cassie, making Steveâs smile grow and uncross his arms.Â
The three had gone out to eat at a diner after they left Starcourt, Cassie ordering belgian waffles for dinner, Robinâs treat again, before they were settling into the Harrington household. It was just a small house, two bedrooms, but the living room was pretty big for a small home. A Christmas tree was set up by the window in the front, lit up with vibrant colors and decorated with ornaments Cassie had made at school. Gifts were already set under the tree, wrapped pretty decently.Â
Robin was lounging out the couch, having kicked off her shoes and she was watching Cassie roll around the living room, her head covered by a large purple helmet that matched the color of her skates and pads wrapped around her knees and elbows.Â
She was laser focused, holding onto the wall for dear life and looking down with a determined look in her eyes as she rolled forward little by little. Steve was in the kitchen, and Robin could already smell the sweet scent of hot chocolate.Â
With the heater kicked on, and the night still young, Steve came out holding two mugs, one for him and one for Robin, Cassie had declined any because she wanted to focus on skating during the hour before she would go to bed.Â
So, while Cassie did that (trying not to crash into the tree for example), Steve and Robin decided to catch up. Robin told him about her job, and the new apartment she moved into with Vickie, she told him how Nancy and Jonathan were doing, and some fun anecdotes she knew Steve would get a good laugh at.Â
Steve told her a few things, starting with the obvious that he was working at Scoops Ahoy again which made Robin tease him about it again.Â
âHey, like I said, I needed a third job, and he agreed to give me a set schedule, weekends only,â Steve told Robin as he leaned back on the couch.Â
âNo, no I totally get it, I just think itâs funny that you willingly put that uniform on again, you hated it more than I did,â Robin said, bending her leg against her chest and resting her chin on her knee as she laughed.Â
âYeah, but that was when I was fresh out of high school and still cared about my self-image, as a daddy now that wasnât even a factor,â Steve said, smirking when Robin grimaced at him calling himself daddy . It was fine coming out of Cassieâs mouth, because Steve was her actual dad, but Steve calling himself that? It made her want to gag and Steve knew that. Itâs why he said it in the first place.Â
âIf youâre not Cassie, I donât want to hear you call yourself daddy,â Robin said, and Steve laughed in response.Â
âSpeaking of Cassie,â Steve started, turning his head to find her sitting on the floor defeated. He got up, concern crossing over his features for a second as Cassie looked up at him with a frown. She hadnât fallen, no, they wouldâve heard her crash and hit the ground. She was just upset that she wasnât a master skater already.Â
Amusement replaced that concern, and he held his hand out of her take and told her, âCall it a night, yeah? And donât be so sad, Cass, itâs going to take more than one night of practice.âÂ
She sighed, and took her dadâs hand and he pulled her back up to her feet, rolling forward and he poked her sides slightly. Cassie giggled, finally smiling before he told her to get ready for bed. She complied, and Steve gave her a gentle push, letting her roll her way down the hall and toward her room.Â
Robin got up, stretching her arms out before she decided to help out by taking the now empty mugs to the sink while Steve went with Cassie to help her take the skates and all the gear off. After a few minutes, Cassie came back out to thank Robin for the skates and to give her a big hug before she returned to her room for the night.Â
Robin was walking around the living room, eying the various portraits that she hadnât seen since she was last here. There were a few new ones, like Cassie in a tinkerbell costume in front of Mrs. Kâs house next door. Her eyes shifted to the older ones, resting on Cassie when she was just a toddler before moving on to one of Steve and Cassie when she was only just born.Â
He was sitting on a lazy-boy, one that used to be in Steveâs old house when he still lived with his parents. Steve was grinning widely, hair greasy and a mess, and he was holding Cassie who was bundled up in a mint green blanket against his chest. He was only 19 at the time, almost 20, and practically still fresh out of high school. Robin remembered when Steve had come to her and told her the news that he was going to be a dad. He was freaking out, and Robin could admit she didnât help him calm down in the slightest.Â
They both had just rambled, Robin shocked by him going to become a parent so young, and what he was going to do and then ranting off ways everything could go wrong and almost making Steve go into cardiac arrest at 19. It was Nancy who promptly calmed Steve down (and thus Robin too).
âAlright, Iâm back- what are you doing?â Steveâs voice came from behind Robin, and she turned away from the picture and started to laugh.Â
âI was looking at that photo of you and Cass, remember when you told me you were going to be a dad and I kind of sort of freaked out like I was the one about to be a dad or something-âÂ
Steve scoffed loudly, â Yeah , you freaked me the hell out, Robin. I was ready to speed off to New York under a new name with all that shit you were saying! Thank god Nance showed up and talked me down.âÂ
Robin was laughing again, finding it funny now when it wasnât funny at the time, and Steve started to laugh too as he fell back onto the couch and yawned loudly. Robin frowned, and joined him back on the couch.
âOh damn, youâre not tired already, right? We have so much more to talk about, â she said, knowing that she desperately needed to know more about this mysterious woman Cassie claims he likes so much, who got him to bake and joined him on Thanksgiving.
âIâm a daddy, Iâm always tired,â Steve told Robin truthfully, to which she gave him a look for calling himself daddy again. He laughed and added, âI donât really have much else to say-âÂ
âOh thatâs alright, I have something you can tell me about,â Robin said, cutting him off, âSo during our little outing, Tiny Harrington told me something pretty interesting about this very pretty school office worker you seem to really like, care to share anything with the class?âÂ
Steve snapped his head toward her and he cleared his throat and turned his head back forward and said your name like it was a question. Robin nodded, âYup, thatâs it and you both keep mentioning herâŠso who is she? Tell me more about her.âÂ
Robin was now leaning in, needing to know more about this especially from Steve, the guy who hadnât really been with anyone since Cassieâs mom, well there was one other woman, but she could hardly recall her face or even her name because of how quickly that flame went out.Â
Steve pushed his hair out of his face and replied, âSheâs just a friend.âÂ
Now it was Robinâs turn to scoff loudly and she said, âOh reallyâŠdo you normally invite friends to have Thanksgiving with your family and the Hendersons? Or to go apple-picking with you?âÂ
Steve nodded, âYeah, yeah you can normally invite a friend to things like that.âÂ
He was very clearly deflecting, and Robin wasnât buying it, not even when he added, âSheâs super nice, really coolâŠmoved here in the summer actually and you know, she doesnât really have anybody or any family really nearby so I justâŠyou know invited her to join me and CassieâŠâÂ
Robin sighed, slightly disappointed by this and she started to say, âSteveâŠSteve, Steve, Steve, I know youâŠyou donât just let people in your life, in Cassieâs life, especially since her mom just up and left. I mean, there was whatâs-her-face who you didnât let her into your life at all which was why the relationship went up in flames in the first place⊠and now all of a sudden Cassie is telling me about this woman you very clearly like going places with you both and gifting her thingsâŠwhat arenât you telling me?âÂ
He tensed up at Robinâs words, seeming to have forgotten that Robin was there for the majority of his life, even though she had promptly brought it up just minutes ago with that memory of him telling her the news. Robin did know Steve, probably more than anybody else in his life. She was there when Cassieâs mom was there, and there when she wasnât , the aftermath of it allâŠSteve hated to think about that. He hated it, so he didnât think about it.
He turned to Robin, who looked more serious now, wanting to know more about you, and wanting Steve to tell her. So he decided he should.Â
âWe really are just friends,â Steve started with, wanting to make that clear, âI meanâŠsheâs something else , you know? LikeâŠthe more I get to know her, the moreâŠamazing I realize she is.âÂ
He laughed nervously, pink dusting over his cheeks as his thoughts became consumed with you and the feelings you brought out of him.
âAnd Cassie absolutely loves her, I mean, she literally asked for skates because of her, and she seems to really like hanging out with me and Cassie too,â he continued, thinking of the smile you always put on his and Cassieâs face whenever youâre together, and he finished saying in a breathless voice like the mere thought of you took his breath away, â Yeah ⊠I really like her. â
His heart was fluttering in his chest from having finally admitted that outloud to somebody. It became more real then, the feelings that would gather in his entire being whenever you were around, whenever you were even mentioned.
âKnew it,â Robin said, satisfied to get a confession from Steve, âSo why are you still just friends then? Is she not interested or something?âÂ
Steve pressed his lips tightly together and shrugged, âI wouldnât know, I never asked andâŠwell, I donât think sheâs not interested, I mean⊠there is something there, like something electricâŠbeing with someone finally sounds good, but then-âÂ
Steve furrowed his brow, as heâs given many thoughts about this whenever it would come up, which was often especially following Thanksgiving when he was tempted to kiss you (and was positive you were going to kiss him too). It was all the same things that stirred inside of him, things that were almost unresolved from the impact Cassieâs mom left on himâŠhe shut his eyes for a moment, the conflict swirling around in him and almost making his stomach hurt along with his head.
Robin was sitting cross-legged, hanging off of Steveâs last word, wanting to know what he was going to say next.Â
He sucked in a tight breath then released it before saying, âI justâŠI donât have time , you know? If thereâs anything I learned from being with Brenda ,â Steve said, reminding Robin of the other womanâs name. Robin snapped her fingers and said quietly â oh yeah Brenda .â
âFrom being with her, time is just not on my side with my jobs, especially now since I got a third one- I just can never be there for somebody else, I canât commit to them in the way they want me to,â Steve tried to explain, âAndâŠand I canât do that to her, I canât break her heart like that soâŠyeah sheâs my friend, and itâs going to stay that way.âÂ
Robin frowned at Steve, slightly disappointed that it was still this that was holding him back, keeping him from pursuing any romantic relationship even when he seemed to want one. Hell, even watching him say that he and you were just going to stay friends he looked downright depressed and disappointed.Â
She could only sigh, feeling kind of sad for Steve, and his luck with romance after Cassieâs mom, but she always thought that maybe he just hadnât found the right person, and she still stands by that to this day. Somebody will come around, and for all she knows this right person for Steve could be you âŠand she feels like sheâd know for sure if she met you and got to know you too.
âBy the way youâre talking about this girlâŠIâd really like to meet her,â she said, making Steve look at her again and with squinted eyes he replied, âAbsolutely not.â
Robin threw her hand over her chest, heavily offended by his immediate response and she said, âWhy not! If sheâs so amazing, Iâd like to see it for myself. Iâm not going to do anything thatâll embarrass you, scoutâs honor.âÂ
â Nope . No way.â
Robin rolled her eyes, wondering what on Earth she could do thatâll embarrass him more than he tends to embarrass himself, but something told her it was that if you met Robin , his best friend, then that would just let you into his life moreâŠand honestly, maybe he needed that more than he believed he didnâtâŠ
⧠⧠â§
It was cold.Â
You were wearing more layers today than any other day since the snowy weather arrived. Your entire head was hidden underneath a gray beanie, and the bottom of your face covered by a baby blue knitted scarf you bought off of one of the studentâs moms who sold them.Â
Even in the confines of the coffee shop, you felt incredibly cold, and were concerned about a cough coming along, your throat a little drier than usual. It was just what you needed, considering the Holidays were just around the corner and you were going to spend it with Heidiâs family. You werenât sure then, if you were getting sick, that you could go, which was quite disappointing.Â
Your name was suddenly called, and you could already taste your favorite hot coffee, and were ready for it to warm your insides. Right after your name was called though, another name was called. You didnât pay much attention, determined to get your coffee, that you hadnât realized they had set the identical cups right next to each other. You just grabbed one, and turned away.Â
âOh, wait!â someone called before you could take a sip, and you turned your head to meet the blue eyes of a girl with short blonde hair and freckles decorating her cheeks, âThat one is mine! My nameâs on itâŠâÂ
You blinked and looked down, twisting the cup in your hand to see the name Robin scribbled on the side of it and not your name. You quickly apologized, feeling a little silly for not checking first and held it out for her to take.
âItâs alright, the cups look the exact same,â the girl, Robin, replied to you as she held your coffee out for you to take. She seemed like she was going to say something further, but stopped when her eyes glossed over your name written on the cup as you took it from her, âOh⊠Oh âŠâÂ
She looked at you, blue eyes observing you closely and then your name before you properly switched.Â
You turned away without another word, ready to return to finally take a sip and return to your car when the girl called your name this time. You stopped, thinking maybe you left something but only saw her standing there with her own drink and sheepish smile on her lips.Â
âSorry, I know I probably look like a complete weirdo , and even more so when I say this butâŠI think I know you, and that you probably know me too? At least by name?â she was saying, and you could only stare at her, trying to see if you could remember exactly who she was and if youâd seen her around here before or heard her name.Â
You shook your head when nothing came up and replied, âIâm sorry, I donâtâŠI canât really remember.â You laughed awkwardly and she did too.Â
âI just thought maybe Steve wouldâve mentioned me,â she said, his namedrop making you tilt your head curiously, âI mean heâs mentioned you quite a bit since I came back to townâŠjust wondering if heâs ever mentioned his friend Robin to you.âÂ
She blinked rapidly at you, then smiled more widely at you. It took you a moment or two before your memory returned. Steve had mentioned her before, you remembered a specific time when you were looking for another movie to watch and he brought to the double VHS section and said something along the lines of âYeah my best friend Robin made me sit through so many movies, I donât normally do double VHS, but this one was really good.â And there were others too you would gradually remember.
âOh yeah! He has! Uh, hi, this is so weird, not that youâre weird, I swear, just-â you laughed nervously, âItâs nice to meet you.âÂ
âLikewise,â Robin replied, stepping out of the way of other coffee patrons, âSo, I hear you and Steve are pretty good friends too.âÂ
You nodded quite fast at that, then got a little embarrassed that you did so, especially when she raised both eyebrows at you.Â
âYeah Iâd say we are,â you said, âNot as good as you two are I bet, I think he mentioned one time youâve been friends since he graduated High School.âÂ
âYeah, we worked at Scoops Ahoy together,â Robin said, and you stared blankly at her, not knowing what a Scoops Ahoy was. And you swore youâve been to every place in Hawkins thus far, but not wanting to sound stupid by asking you just stayed quiet as Robin continued to say, âAnyway though, Iâm sure you got places to be, I got places to be because you know, my mom is just dying to see me.âÂ
You couldnât tell if that was sarcasm or not, but she bid you a good-bye before pausing and turning back to you to say, âHey, wait, around like I donât know 6, me, Steve and Cassie are going to that pizza place downtownâŠyou should come.âÂ
âOh,â you paused suddenly, then said, âI donât want to intrude on a reunion.âÂ
Robin laughed at that, âYouâre not going to intrude anything, youâre Steveâs friend, Iâm his friend, itâll be just a bunch of friends meeting for some pizza for dinner. Iâm sure heâll love to see you seeing as he talked about you so much.âÂ
You felt your cheeks heat up at that, then became too preoccupied with the heart in your chest leaping to see Steve again, something thatâs become entirely common these days. You subconsciously counted down the days until you would see him again, though youâd never admit anything out loud. Also, sheâs mentioned twice that he keeps talking about youâŠ
Robin was staring at you expectantly, and you met her eyes before nodding and saying, âYeah, okay that sounds like it could be fun.âÂ
âYes! Alright, cool,â Robin said, a little too excitedly as she gave you a thumbs up with the hand that wasnât holding her coffee, âNow, Iâm going to go see my mom, and Iâll see you later, you know the one right?âÂ
You nodded, as there was only one pizza place in Hawkins, and waved a good-bye to Robin as she left the coffee shop before you. You dropped your hand to the side, then remembered that you were cold and that was the reason you bought a coffee. You lifted it to your lips, and drank the hot liquid, but it didnât do much, as the thought of Steve had already made you warm enough.
⧠⧠â§
It was half after six, and Steve, Cassie, and Robin were barely being seated. Robin hadnât anticipated the place to be so full, even though Steve told her it would be. It wasnât a long wait, and Steve wasnât impatient and neither was Robin, Cassie could be impatient, but as long as she had her walkman while they sat in the waiting area she was fine.Â
Steve had noticed that Robin kept looking at the door every time it opened, eyes looking over every member of the family that was entering the pizza parlor. He had asked her if she was waiting for someone or something, thinking maybe she ran into the kids (theyâre not kids anymore, Steve kept having to remind himself) who were home for winter break without telling him. Not that he would mind, but who the hell was going to pay for them to eat?
Eventually, Robinâs name was called by the hostess and they were led through the full pizza parlor and sat at a comfortable round booth that was actually elevated and underneath a dimly lit light. Cassie hopped in first, crawling on all fours until she was sitting right in the center of the table with a grin on her face and head banging as she was still listening to music.Â
âThis is a pretty big booth for just three people,â Steve said, eying Robin as he tried to see if sheâd take the bait and just tell him who she invited to join them.
âOh yeah, totally too big for three people,â Robin said, agreeing with him as she shot him a grin and sat down.Â
âRightâŠâÂ
Steve sat down as well, thanking the hostess for the menus. He turned his attention to Cassie now, and tapped her nose to capture her attention. She looked at him and he gestured to his own ears. Cassie understood, and turned to turn off her walkman, then removed her headphones. They rested around her neck, a look Cassie Harrington had all the time, especially these days.Â
âWelcome back,â Steve teased her as he handed her a menu. Cassie took it from her dad, giving him a toothy grin as her head was still nodding to nonexistent music. Steve chuckled and passed a menu to Robin, and then looked down, seeing he was holding two more.Â
Robin definitely invited somebody else.Â
At that moment, Steve looked up at the door, as Robin and Cassie became engrossed in their menus and were verbally deciding what toppings they wanted on each pizza they were about to order.Â
He was looking for perhaps a kid, like Dustin, or Lucas as Robin mentioned running into him specifically, hell he even looked for Eddie Munson (Steve had seen him show up in the Family Video Store after he seemed to have vanished for weeks), but his eyes landed on you .Â
You werenât looking at him, your attention on the hostess as you spoke to her. The hostess had looked down at her clipboard, then nodded, telling you something with a smile before she turned around and started to walk in the direction of the table they sat at. Just as you lifted your eyes, Steve turned to look at Robin, all of it adding up at once.
âYou didnât- how- how did you even meet her? â Steve was questioning her. Robin looked up from her menu, confused at first and then she grinned sheepishly. Before she could even answer, you were at the table.Â
Cassie had gasped at the sight of you, and called your name excitedly while Robin grinned and looked at you.Â
âYou made it! I was afraid you wouldnât!â Robin said, âSteve scoot over, jeesh, you too Tiny.âÂ
âNo! Wait! I want to sit next to her!â Cassie announced, of which Robin seemed very intrigued by and Cassie said, âDaddy, you sit on the side!âÂ
Steve stared at Cassie for such a demand, but who was he to deny his daughterâs requests? He looked at you, finally, and you were looking at Cassie with a sweet smile on your lips before you turned to look at Steve. He sucked in a soft breath before nodding and scooting off of the seat.Â
âWait, do you wantâŠâ Steve gestured to your outerwear when he stood and you blinked before realizing what he meant.Â
âYeah! God I hate wearing all these layers,â you said with a shake of your head as you unzipped your large jacket. You were shaking out of it and Steve was suddenly behind you, reaching out to take your jacket off for you like the gentleman he is. You thanked him softly as he did, and he flashed you a sweet grin before you were moving to sit in the booth.Â
âI didnât know Robin invited you!â Cassie said when you settled in next to her.Â
âShe invited me this morning,â you told her, looking over at her then at Steve as he settled down right next to you. Steve slid a menu to you as well and you took it, another soft thank you being thrown his way.Â
âYeah, I ran into her at the coffee place, insane right? I mean I heard her name, because obviously Steve told me all about you,â Robin said, gesturing to Steve who snapped his head to look at her, âCassie too , donât look at me like that. Anyway, she took my coffee by accident and then we talked and now sheâs here.âÂ
Steve shook his head.
âYeah, thatâs what happened,â you said, your cheeks a little warm as you were still a bit afraid that you were unwelcomed despite Steve literally getting up and helping you get your jacket off, âItâs not a problem for anyone here, right?âÂ
Steve turned to look at you, and quickly shook his head, âOh no , never. You know I like seeing you.â He suddenly realized what heâd just said and cleared his throat before turning away to cough into his hand in an attempt to take the attention off that .Â
You just sat there, pressing your lips softly together at his words, before you looked back at Robin and said, âSorry for being late though, my car has been acting up especially with this weather.âÂ
You frowned at the thought of your car barely starting this morning, and then when you were on your way here. It started eventually, yes , but felt pretty much dead before that. Robin told you it was fine, as they were barely sat anyway.
âWait whatâs going on with your car?â Steve questioned, becoming concerned at this information. You shrugged.Â
âItâsâŠwonky, I donât know,â you said lamely, âIt takes a few tries to start, then when itâs on it feels like itâs on the edge of breaking down.âÂ
Steve was shaking his head at the idea of that, and said, âYou know I can take a look at it after dinner if you want me to. Iâve gotten pretty good with cars these past few years.âÂ
Robin hummed, âYeah, itâs really weirdâŠlike the moment he became a dad he gained all the traits of one like barbecuing andâŠfalling asleep early on the couch or something.âÂ
That comment made you genuinely laugh, and Steve got a bit lost in your laugh even though it wasnât him who made you laugh, but he quickly shook out of it and laughed sarcastically at Robin before returning his attention to you.Â
âIâm serious though, I can look at itâŠalso I fell asleep on the couch one time,â he said the last part to Robin who reminded him that it happened in the middle of their conversation the night prior before looking back down at the menu. You laughed again, then rested your hand on his shoulder, and replied, âIâd really appreciate that, Steve. Thanks.â
You both just gazed at each other for a long moment, before Cassie was tapping your arm, taking your attention off of him. Steve smiled to himself, then turned to look at his menu.Â
âGuess what Robin got me for Christmas,â Cassie started with eagerly. You hummed in thought.Â
âBeats me, Cass,â you said after a moment, and she smiled widely before announcing the skates. You dropped your jaw, âNo way! You want to learn to skate then?â
Cassie nodded, âYes! Can you teach me?â
You were more than obliged to teach her, which made Cassie even more happy.Â
Steve looked up from his menu, staring at you while Cassie eagerly told you all about her skates, and he licked his lips gently, and Robin stifled a laugh. He looked at her now, giving her a pointed look, pretending that he was irritated with her when he wasnât. If he was being honest, he liked this, he liked you being here sitting between him and Cassie, with his best friend sitting across from him. It was niceâŠcomfortable even.
Itâs like you just fit .Â
And the heat spreading over him at this thought made his chest sting, happy because he liked you so much , but indifferent because he did . It made no sense, no sense at all, but this was no time to dwell on it, especially with you right next to him, your legs slightly touching and your pretty perfume invading his senses.Â
Thankfully, the waiter arrived, taking an order of drinks, and your pizza. You all decided on two large pizzas, and when you ordered some strawberry lemonade, Cassie did the same, something that did not go unnoticed by Steve. She never drank lemonade, in fact every time they came here she got apple juice, and what he saw was Cassie bright eyes gazing at you. It made that feeling in Steve even more vibrant, that Cassie seemed to look up to you so much that she got skates because of you, listened to disco, and now ordered the same drink.Â
It really hit Steve, at this moment, how much Cassie really liked you. She of course liked everyone else too, as she took a specific liking to Robin who was there in her infant and toddler days, and then took a liking to Dustin and especially Max. She had never actually tried to mimic them though, Max never inspired her to want to learn how to ride a skateboard and the interest in Dungeons and Dragons was all part of Dustinâs elaborate plan to get her to keep a high school club alive.Â
You werenât doing any of that, just simply existing and being such a good friend , that damned word again, that became a constant in his and Cassieâs life and she seemed to want to be just like you.Â
Steve was a bit baffled at this, shocked into silence really as you and Robin were talking now.Â
âOh yeah, we went to high school together, right Steve? But we didnât become friends until that one summer we were forced to work together at Scoops Ahoy,â Robin was saying, finally capturing Steveâs attention, âIt was a summer for sure, your dad wasnât the catch he is today.âÂ
Robin was talking to Cassie now, who looked over at her dad and asked, âCatch?â
âOh, no girls liked him,â Robin said nonchalantly, which made Cassie frown.
âBut he gets free ice cream?âÂ
âRight? Seems foolproof huh?âÂ
âWait- are you seriously bringing that up? Come on Robin, you know it was a tough summer for me,â Steve said, grabbing his drink and sipping out of the straw.Â
âBecause now itâs a funny memory,â Robin replied with a shrug, and turned back to look at you, âHave you seen him yet? At Scoops Ahoy?âÂ
You cringed slightly, knowing it was time to fuss up that you had no idea what a âScoops Ahoyâ was, and told her so. The table went quiet, as if Scoops Ahoy was a home name of Hawkins or something when really it was just between the three people at the table with you.Â
âYouâve never been there?â Steve was asking you, making you look at him and shake your head, âSo youâve never visited Starcourt then?âÂ
You shook your head again, âIâve been wanting to, butâŠI donât know if my car will make it that farâŠâ
Steve just stared at you, then nodded as if he was impressed that youâve never visited the highly popular mall and Cassie was the one to tell you that it was an ice cream shop. She told you about all the free ice cream she gets sometimes.
â Free ice cream? That sounds like a dream,â you told Cassie and she giggled and said that it wasnât. Her dad could get free ice cream whenever he wanted essentially.
âWell I mean, I can get you free ice cream too if you want,â Steve said, turning to you, and Robin almost rolled her eyes because it was painfully obvious that Steve really liked you, and it was such a burden to know he did, but wasnât going to actually do anything about it.Â
âOh really?â you questioned, resting your chin on your hand as you met his brown eyes.
â Yeah , I think Iâm pretty much a professional like Iâve mastered the USS Butterscotch ,â Steve said, making you furrow your brows in confusion at such a name, but assuming rightfully it was just some kind of sunday they served.Â
Robin asked how you and Steve met, and he relayed to her how you were dying from allergies and did a late run to the market to get medication, and he just so happened to working that night, then you said you ran into him again at the video store, a job, Robin relayed to you that heâs been at that job for a while. It was Cassie who talked about the carrot situation in more detail, which made Robin laugh because it is something Cassie Harrington would do.Â
She watched as you, Steve, and Cassie spoke, laughing together, and she had noticed herself how much Cassie had taken a liking to you as well. It was Steve mostly, though, she couldnât recall the last time he was so interested in a woman like this. That other girl he was almost with didnât even compare to how he was with you, and maybeâŠhe was like that once with Cassieâs mom, very early in her pregnancy.Â
He had been at her side almost twenty-four seven. Robin had liked her, as there wasnât necessarily anything wrong with her, just that it was painfully obvious that she didnât feel the same way toward Steve. Steve had known that, since he had told Robin this when she brought it up one night during a late shift at the Family Video Store.Â
He was aware, yes, but they were going to have a baby together, he couldnât help how he felt, how he always felt about her really as they were friends. But honestly, he had told her, he just wanted their child to have both parents, it didnât matter to him whether he and she were together, as long as Cassie had her mom and had her dad who at the very least liked each other. Of course, they all know how that story came to an endâŠ
It was something that clearly continued to plague her best friendâs mind, if their conversation from the night before meant anything. Steve liked you, he admitted that to Robin, which is a major step for the guy, and seeing you, seeing how you fell into place with him, with Cassie, something felt different, yet all the same. He wasnât putting on some kind of show, because Robin knew if she invited the other girl he was with for a bit, he wouldâve been actually irritated with her, he wouldâve sat through it and been polite, but he wouldnât have been happy. He seemed likeâŠhimself againâŠcomfortable, and she liked seeing Steve like this again. She really did.Â
And now, she felt like she owed it to him to knock some sense into him, like how he helped her out with Vickie all those years ago, who still remained her beloved and favorite person ever to this day. He would be crazy to at least not try , because he liked you, and sitting here, she can tell that you liked him too.Â
The pizza had come, and the conversation turned to Steve and Robin now, and you sat there listening with amusement written on your features of the summer they became friends, about working at Scoops Ahoy, then at the Family Video Store, how he threw her a graduation party at his house that almost failed because someone forgot to bring cups (It was that guy Eddie again) until a girl by the name of Nancy Wheeler got fed up and left to get some. Steve even made her a cake apparently, or at least attempted to. It was something, Robin had said about that cake, surely something.
âYou said youâve never baked before,â you said to Steve upon hearing this information and he turned to you with a sheepish grin on his lips.Â
âItâs one of the major reasons I donât bake anymore,â Steve replied, making you laugh and say, âYou bake now though.âÂ
âThanks to you, I actually like it now, honestlyâŠyou know I still get compliments on those cookiesâŠâ Steve said, leaning back and subconsciously stretching and resting his arms on the rest right behind you.
Your heart sped up at this gesture, and you shifted in your spot. Steve stayed staring at you, a small grin on his lips that hadnât left since all of you started talking. You settled back into place, with his arm technically wrapped around you and turned away, cheeks hot and your heart feeling like it was blooming.Â
The check had come around, and Steve had reached into his pocket, and cursed softly.
âDamnâŠI think I left my wallet in the car,â he said with a cringe before he started to stand, âIâll be right back.âÂ
âWait!â Cassie called in between you and Robin, and Steve paused to look at his daughter, âCan I go?â
âCome on then,â Steve said, fully standing. You were about to move, but Cassie was diving underneath the table and crawling out from the other side. Steve just stared at her before he laughed and told her to put her jacket on. She did, and then he held his hand out for her to take. When their hands clasped together, they were walking toward the exit of the pizza parlor, leaving you and Robin.Â
You had felt slightly bad, as you didnât get to learn much about Robin herself. So, given it was just the two of you, you asked her about herself and Robin let out a breath.Â
âI hate this questionâŠâ Robin said, fiddling with her rings as she laughed awkwardly. Before you could apologize, she shook her head and told you that she lived in New York with her girlfriend, Vickie, that she moved there with her when Cassie was around four years old, so around two years ago. She attends classes at a college there, and works at this department store.Â
âOh, so itâs like the reverse,â you suddenly stated, âI lived in the big city, moved to this small town- you lived in this small town and moved to the big city.âÂ
This made Robin laugh, âHey, yeah, thatâs true . Itâs pretty insane, overstimulating, a lot of smog, too many peopleâŠI donât hate it though.âÂ
You nodded, your childhood and adolescent days coming back to you at once, and you replied, âYeah, a lot of people, butâŠI think thatâs part of its charm.âÂ
âOh for sure,â Robin replied, turning her head to see if Steve was coming back. He wasnât and she commented, âI swear if he dined and dashedâŠâÂ
âOhâŠoh he wouldnât do thatâŠwould he?âÂ
âNah,â Robin shook her head, âHe always paysâŠguess thatâs one of his charms, among many, I suppose.âÂ
She was looking at you again, and you leaned back in your spot, eyes lingering on the door, waiting to see him come back.Â
âItâs still kind of weird to me,â Robin suddenly said thoughtfully, âI mean, if high school me heard me say that Steve Harrington was cool, and I was willingly having pizza dates with him and his daughter- she would be absolutely baffled .âÂ
You turned to her, a curious look in your gaze and she went on to say, âIâm pretty sure every high school had the same hierarchy, so you probably know what Iâm talking about. Steve had thee titleâŠbasketball captain, swim captain, other other captain, I donât know I was in band butâŠhe was literally called King Steve.âÂ
â King Steve? âÂ
Youâd never heard anything like that, at your high school there was one guy, the football captain, who dated all the cheerleaders and all that. You could actually picture Steve that way, the hot, popular jock all the girls fawned overâŠconsidering the unofficial Steve Harrington fanclub here made up of Hawkinâs Moms.Â
âOh my god, heâll hate that Iâm telling you this,â she said, chuckling to herself, âIt doesnât matter anymore though, because that was just you know- a facade. But yeah, I actually didnât like him, like a lot- he knows this- but you know, underneath it all- heâs a good guy, probably always has been.â
You turned thoughtful, thinking of Steve in such a way. It had been mentioned before, when Heidi said she dated Steve once in high school and cried over him, or when Steve had told you during what you dared called a âlunch dateâ in his car that one autumn afternoon that he got a lot of dates at 13. He didnât seem to be getting them now, despite the attention he receives.Â
âIâm just glad you got to know him now ,â Robin said nonchalantly, âHe still has those charms, obviously I know you know the onesâŠâÂ
She eyed you and you couldnât lie and say he didnât. Steve was pretty irresistible, and that stupid charm of his that lingered in your mind for days on end after every interaction youâve had with him since summer still made your stomach twist and heart flip.
âYeahâŠâ you said, albeit a bit breathlessly that made Robin laugh to herself.Â
Steve was opening the door to the parlor, snowflakes decorating his hair and his jacket. Cassie looked the same, and she shook her head like a dog and held her dadâs hand tighter, happy about the warmth the parlor was providing.
The first thing Steve saw when he walked in was you and Robin. You were in conversation, and he watched as you smiled and laughed, and nodded and responded to his best friend in that round booth. You were enjoying it, talking to Robin, and he sucked in a tight breath, head a little foggy, and he was kind of⊠happy that it seemed Robin liked you.Â
Cassie was saying something to him, pulling him out of trance, but he hadnât heard what she said
âHm?â he hummed curiously, looking down at his daughter now, seeing her gazing up at him with almost concern.Â
âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
Steve paused, then laughed weakly as he tightened his grip affectionately on her hand and replied, âThatâs the million dollar question, CassâŠcome on letâs go.â
He returned to the table, overhearing Robin say something about how she witnessed the aftermath of him accidentally renting out the wrong movie to a girl. Steve didnât ask what she was talking about because he didnât need to be reminded of that, and he was glad that you didnât ask, just suppressing a laugh as he approached.Â
âAre we ready to go?âÂ
You were all outside now, Cassie giving you a big hug good-bye before she was in between Robin and Steve, holding both of their hands, her hands were covered in these bright pink knitted mittens that were vibrant against their dark gloves.Â
âIâll get your number from Steve,â Robin had told you, to which you eagerly nodded. Steve wanted to say some kind of joke, maybe why are you stealing my new friend already? But he really loved that you and her got along that well.Â
âAlright, letâs get you in the car, Tiny,â Robin said, saying a final good-bye to you before taking Cassie with her. Cassie waved at you as Robin led her to the car, and it was just you and Steve now.
âWell, I guess Iâll see you soon,â you said, standing albeit a little awkward beside him and Steve, well he looked even more awkward that even Robin cringed when she glanced over at him.Â
âYeah, Iâll call you,â he said, and you nodded, flashing him a grin before turning away. Suddenly, as Steve saw your car, he called your name, âWait, I said Iâd look at your car!âÂ
You stopped, looking at the car, then at him, then back at the car.Â
âLet me see if itâll start first,â you told him, not wanting to stand out in this cold further or make him stand out in this cold too. Steve followed after you regardless, standing by the car door as you settled in and put the key into its ignition.Â
It started the first try, by some sort of miracle.Â
âOh, oh itâs working now,â you said with the shake of your head, embarrassed that your car made it seem like you were lying just to get Steve to look at it or something.Â
âI could still look at it though,â Steve told you, leaning over the open door to look inside before glancing over at the hood, as if itching to get it opened. It made you less embarrassed and you nodded, agreeing that eventually he should, or you should get it over to the mechanics.Â
With that, Steve said a sweet good-bye before lightly closing your car door for you. He even remained there, watching you go. He was also making sure the car didnât suddenly break down once it hit the street. It didnât, thankfully, and he finally went to his car where Robin and Cassie were waiting with the heater already on.
It was quiet, for the most part, Cassie had put her headphones on again, kicking her feet to the beat and gazing out the window with a sleepy look coming over her face. She was definitely going into a food coma.
Robin had suddenly turned in her spot in the passenger seat though to look at Steve. He could see her almost perfectly in peripherals. She was grinning at him almost slyly.
âWhat?â he asked, acting like he didnât know why she was smiling like that.Â
âI like her,â Robin stated.Â
Warmth not from the heater washed over Steve when he heard that, and he swallowed thickly and played dumb, âYou like who ?âÂ
Robin gave him a look, and replied, âIâm seriousâŠyouâre right when you say she is pretty amazing and Iâm going to say this because Iâm your best friend and I canâŠâÂ
Steve came to a stop light, and turned his head to look at Robin.Â
âYou would be a complete idiot if you donât at least try and take a chance with her.â
There had been a small, amused smile on Steveâs lips, a happy one at that as well, when he heard that Robin liked you so much, but hearing this, Robinâs bluntness Steveâs smile turned into a frown and something cold came over him, like the cold breeze of the upcoming blizzard outside.Â
He turned his head forward, just as the light turned green, and he started to drive through the intersection.Â
Steve knows this, itâs been gnawing at him, sitting there next to you, seeing how well you fit in, how almost perfect you were to him, how perfect youâve always been whenever he was around you. He hadnât felt like this strongly for someone, the way the thought of you made your head buzz and insides turn delightfully, which would of course be followed by this sick, hollow feeling that he couldnât quite describe, much like how he felt when he realized Cassie was trying to be like you in that pizza parlor.Â
God, you preoccupy his mind so much, and thereâs a voice in him that says ask her out, you idiot , and then another voice says just kiss her, for the love of god just kiss her . Heâs felt that one on occasion, when that electricity sparked between the both of you, when your eyelashes fluttered gently at him, your lips waiting for hisâŠ
Then, thereâs that other voice, the one that came out the night before when talking to Robin. You donât have timeâŠyou know what happened the last time you triedâŠitâs not worth itâŠitâs not worth breaking her heart over .Â
Most of the time, that voice was louder.Â
Robin looked at her friend who was deep in thought, and reached over to pat his shoulder, âIâll demote you back to dingus, I will.âÂ
That at least made Steve laugh, and he replied a little weakly, âHonestlyâŠthatâs only fair.â
⧠⧠â§
âSteve, Iâve only known her for like two days, if you count the day you finally told me about her.âÂ
Robinâs voice was coming through the phone.Â
It was about a week after Christmas, and you had dropped by the market one night just before Steveâs shift ended to give him some gifts. You had finally made more mixtapes for Cassie, the bag full of them, and for Steve, you went simple and got him a Christmas card with an ice skating penguin wearing a red beanie on it with a gift card inside. It was quite a bit of money, and you insisted that he neednât to get you anything in return. You didnât really have anyone to buy gifts for, besides for Heidi and her family and a secret santa at the school, and wanted to do something nice.
Steve was touched, really touched, so much that the voice that kept telling him to kiss you had to be fought off with a mental broomstick. And now, he was kind of freaking out about it and had called Robin almost immediately during his break at the Family Video Store the next day.Â
âIt was just nice, alright, and I donât want to get her something badâŠgod why am I freaking out about it though?âÂ
âBecause you like her, dingus,â Robin teased from all the way in New York, she was on her break at her job too, âGet her likeâŠI donât know a mug or something, teacherâs love those. I actually love those.âÂ
âNoâŠno sheâs not a teacher, at least not yet,â Steve replied, pressing his hand against his face, feeling a bit ridiculous about how much he was overthinking this.Â
âGet her one, speak it into the universe for her,â Robin suggested, then said like she read his thoughts, âYouâre overthinking this Steve, and thatâs a lot coming from me. I canât just tell you what to buy, you know her way more than me.âÂ
He sighed into his hand, âWhat the hell am I doingâŠâÂ
âYouâre a big guy, Steve, youâll figure it out⊠oh heyâŠwhat about a candle?âÂ
She was very clearly looking at a candle someone walked by holding in the department store she worked at part-time.Â
Another reason why Steve was freaking out was because he was going to see you very soon, like tonight soon and the storeâs would be closing earlier than usual so that heâd have to go straight to Starcourt after his shift ends.Â
He had invited you to the Wheelerâs annual New Years Eve party, yet another almost family thing he wanted you to attend because quite literally everyone in his life would be there, the kids (Not kids, anymore, Steve), Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers, Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper⊠everyone .Â
Robin did offer some good, basic presents, a mug, a candleâŠbut what else? He wanted to at least add his own touch to it.Â
With a good-bye to Robin, he was back at work, still inside his head of what to get you when Heidi, who he has known since high school, approached him at the counter.Â
âJust returning,â she told Steve, placing them down on the counter in front of him. Steve nodded, turning to the computer set up until his eyes rested on her name again. He remembered then that you had mentioned you were going to be spending Christmas with her and her family, which could only mean that she was your friend as well.Â
Steve stopped typing for a good second, turning his head to look at Heidi who was poking around the new concession stand they had set up (it was Steveâs idea). She seemed particularly interested in the kettlecorn, and Steve cleared his throat as he said, âSoâŠHeidiâŠhow was your holiday last week?âÂ
She looked up at him, and replied, âIt was great, how was your Christmas with Cassie?âÂ
âOh great, we spent it with the Hendersons, like alwaysâŠâ he trailed off, unsure of how to smoothly mention you and then try to see if she can help out in any way for getting you a gift, âWhoâd you spend it with?â
Heidi answered her own family, and he said, âNobody else?âÂ
He wanted to kick himself for making it so obvious. He could literally see it in her eyes when it clicked he was trying to bring you up without actually saying it. Steve hadnât talked to Heidi like this in a long time, not since high school and not since they dated for like a month or so, he talked to her at the office, yes, but he talked to everyone there. Mostly you these days, if he was being honest.
âWaitâŠâ Heidi trailed off and then asked if he was talking about you. Steve chuckled, and nodded, deciding to just own it. It wasnât weird, it wasnât suspicious, he was just asking about his friend . At least thatâs what he tried to convince himself to make the anxious, racing of heart stop.
âYeah, yeah I mean herâŠyouâre pretty good friends, huh?âÂ
Heidi leaned on the counter, an intrigued look crossing her features and she said, âYes, I think so, thoughâŠI donât think weâre good friends like you and her areâŠâÂ
Steve took the tapes Heidi returned, trying to nonchalantly work while talking to her.
âI doubt it,â Steve replied, because if he and you were such good friends why couldnât he decide on what kind of gift to get you. Heidi chuckled.Â
âRight,â she said, not buying it clearly, âIs there something you want to ask me about her?â
âWellâŠâ Steve started, then cleared his throat before continuing to say, âI want to get her something for Christmas, a little late I know, but she got me and Cass something and I just want to return the favor.âÂ
Heidi rested her chin on her hand, âDo you not know what to get her?âÂ
âI just need some ideas,â Steve replied quickly, making her laugh.Â
âWell, maybe we both are just as good as friends with her, I had trouble getting her something too,â Heidi replied honestly, and that did make Steve a little more relieved, âI got her perfume, and my kids made her a sâmore set, she seemed to love it. You knowâŠI thinkâŠanything simple, really. Sheâll love anything, especially if itâs from you .â
Steve thought it was the same for him, as he displayed that penguin Christmas card on his nightstand like it was some love letter. Heidi looked a little excited by this information, like he just told her some secret. Heâd forgotten this quality of her, and found it oddly comforting in a way that she still held this aspect of her.
He finished processing the return for her, and she asked him if thatâs all he wanted to ask. He nodded to her, and grinned politely.Â
âYeah, yeah thatâs it, thanks Heidi,â he said, and she grinned back at him and turned to leave. He supposed a candle and a mug it wasâŠstill he hated how cheap it felt. You deserved more than that, but it would have to do.Â
He had about an hour more to brew up some more ideas anyway.
Meanwhile, Heidi had called you the moment she could. You were at home getting ready for the party tonight when the phone rang and you answered, this was as Steve was rushing to Starcourt after his shift ended, and Heidi relayed everything to you.Â
âYou said there was nothing going on, you liar, heâs getting you a gift,â Heidi said, and you sucked in a sharp breath.Â
âFriends get each other gifts, you got me one, I got you one,â you said, trying to play it off even though it was quite obvious there was something more between you and Steve, something strong and unspoken, something ready to burst any moment now.Â
âYeah, but Iâm not him , he likes you, and you like him,â Heidi practically beamed, âI knew you werenât immune to Steve Harringtonâs charm. I mean, his daughter visits you all the time when she canâŠyou got him to bake cookiesâŠyou spent Thanksgiving with himâŠhe practically shoves the faculty just to stand by you at mandatory assembliesâŠhe likes you.âÂ
âHeâs a good friend,â you replied, cheeks feeling a little hot.Â
And just like what Robin was saying about Steve to him when she first came to Hawkins, or what Dustin Henderson had said to his girlfriend Suzie, Heidi had said, âI donât think you realize how insane all of that is for Steve freaking Harrington. Okay, heâs been practically off the market since Cassieâs mom just up and left town.âÂ
You frowned, and reminded her how she told you her friend had dated him.Â
âOkay, but barely , she broke it off because he was never around, he never made time for her, he definitely didnât invite her to go to a Holiday dinner, and she met Cassie like maybe once , twice at the most and that was by accident,â Heidi explained quickly, and you were going to say something, but she was speaking again, âAnd here you are, coming in from the city and making him trip over himself. Iâm impressed, I really am.âÂ
You tried to fight the feelings mustering up in your stomach, âItâs notâŠheâs my friend.âÂ
âI find it interesting how he was saying the same thing,â your friend commented.Â
âBecause we are just friends,â you tried to emphasize, but knowing already that no matter what you said, your friend wouldnât believe you. At this point, you were trying to convince yourself it was all you and Steve were, all that you would ever be because then if it never happens, you couldn't be disappointed.Â
Youâd just learn to live with the feelings and bursts of warmths that occur at just the simple thought of him, at the idea of seeing him, if anything, you were already doing it. Steve was a friend, a good friend, and you didnât want that to change.Â
You didnât tell Heidi any of this, feeling almost embarrassed by your outlook, plus, you didnât want to admit to her that you did like him, a lot. She can continue speculating, and you can continue pretending she was wrong.Â
âI have to go,â you had told her finally after a couple more exchanges, âI have a party to go to tonight.âÂ
âWith Steve ?âÂ
You scoffed and told her a good-bye and a âHappy New Year.â
She was giggling, and told you the same before you hung up. You hoped there would be alcohol at this party, and had you any left of your favorite wine you had brought to Heidiâs Christmas Party last week, you wouldâve definitely started drinking now.Â
⧠⧠â§
Steve had always been convinced that the biggest New Years in Hawkins was the one Karen Wheeler threw every year. It was practically full, every room decorated with streamers, tinsel, party hats, appetizers on every available surface and an abundance of alcohol.Â
Now, it wasnât a crazy party, like the ones he used to attend in High School and go to school the next day with a hangover, but it was pretty big and exciting. Overwhelming too, and he had warned you about it too.Â
You seemed comfortable among his friends, although he considered them more as family, even after Cassie had taken your hand when you first arrived and started introducing you to everyone as âHer daddyâs girlfriend.â
This horrified Steve, as when he told Karen and everyone that he was inviting you, he made sure to not make the same mistake of Thanksgiving where he didnât tell Dustin or Claudia that you and him were just friends.Â
You were amazing though, just laughing when Cassie announced you as his girlfriend to everyone present and said, âWell I am a girl, and I am his friend.âÂ
âExactly!â Cassie replied, a toothy grin that made Steve become suspicious of his daughterâs intention with that comment, as sheâs never said anything like that about you before. He couldnât really dwell on it though, as Cassie was eventually dragged away by the kids (Not. Kids. Anymore. Steve), leaving the adults like him upstairs.
There were a lot of people here, Steve had warned you prior that there would be, but everytime his eyes would find you across the room, heâd find you smiling and talking to someone, though he noticed it was mostly Claudia, who was absolutely delighted to see you again.Â
âSoâŠsheâs really just your friend , Steve?âÂ
Nancy Wheeler was suddenly beside Steve, a woman he hadnât seen for longer than heâd seen Robin. Steve turned away from you, and looked at her.Â
âWhat?âÂ
Nancy laughed, âNevermind. How have you been? Robin told me youâre working at Scoops Ahoy againâŠâÂ
Steve grimaced, but shouldâve figured Robin would tell her this. He spent the next few minutes catching up with his old friend (And high school girlfriend), Steve telling her that he read one of the stories she reported on in the paper a while ago that gained immense popularity, and so on. She had done a lot, and really all he had to report was that he was working three different jobs, and made one new friend, which was you.Â
His drink was gone by the end of it, and he excused himself to go some more in the kitchen and decided before doing so he should go down to the basement to see what Cassie was up to as it was going to be close to midnight and she might fall asleep. He walked down the steps of the basement, already hearing loud cursing that irked him. The ambience of the basement was suddenly not very Steve Approved.Â
They were playing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, Cassie included , sitting in between Max and Lucas as Mike Wheeler spoke dramatically, leaving everyone, including Cassie, on the edge of their seats. Well, except Max. She was giving Mike an unamused look.Â
âShit, I knew we shouldnât have done that,â Dustin cursed when Mike came to the conclusion of his overdramatics, and Steve scoffed loudly.Â
âHey, hey, thereâs a child present,â Steve told them, resting his hands on his waist. All of them looked over at Steve, and it was Max who said, âWell now there is, you just walked in..âÂ
There were cackles from everyone and Steve shook his head, unamused with that comment even though he felt like he walked right into it.Â
âYeah, yeah just watch your language. I donât want my daughter cursing like a sailor,â Steve replied and they all sighed, a chorus of begrudging apologies and eyerolls being thrown his way.Â
âWhat are you doing down here, anyway? Wouldnât you rather be with your girlfriend?â Mike asked, leaning back in his seat and giving Steve a look.Â
âSeeing if my kidâs alright, and sheâs not -â Steve sucked in a breath, not wanting to waste it on telling everyone that again as the way they all looked at him told him they werenât going to believe him otherwise.Â
âSheâs the same girl from the video store, right?â Max suddenly asked, making Steve pause for a moment and she added before he could respond, âThe girlâs whose number you couldnât get.â
âWhat?â Steve asked.Â
âShe was at the video store,â Max repeated, âCome on, you remember. Lucas, you were there too.âÂ
Lucas looked confused and Max scoffed at him.
It had taken Steve a moment before he remembered what Max was talking about, how in the summer one of the first times you met was in the video store and Max had interacted with you for even a few seconds.Â
âYes, itâs the same girl,â Steve told her, and Max snapped her fingers and gave a pointed look to Dustin, âI told you it was her.âÂ
âHow was I supposed to know that? I wasnât even there , I was just relaying the information of Steveâs new girlfriend,â Dustin said, before Lucas was suddenly nodding.Â
âOh, oh I remember her now,â he said, then looked at Steve, âWait, if sheâs his girlfriend then that means he did get her number.âÂ
âI thought it was pretty much established that he didnât,â Max replied to her boyfriend. Steve watched as the short back and forth ensued, Cassie looking in between the two everytime one talked, and his expression became bemused as Max ended with, âHe didnât get her number.âÂ
She was right, he didnât, but why he was offended by that he had no clue, because from what he remembers- he didnât even ask for your number that day, in fact it wasnât until a few weeks after he did (he was NOT going to tell them that though)âŠsoon the conversation turned toward you though in the span of a few seconds.Â
âI like her, she seems nice,â El had said, and Will had agreed with his sister.Â
âSheâs also cool, remember when I told you guys sheâs interested in learning to play Dungeons and Dragons, so already better than Steve,â Dustin said, and all of them full-heartedly agreed. Steve knew it was just meant to tease him, so he didnât take that to heart that much.Â
âRight, well, I was just checking on Cass, so watch your language and please donât make my daughter think Iâm lame with your comments,â Steve said, pointing at all of them, and it was almost majestic how all of them snorted one after the other for that comment. He scowled, and was about to turn before Cassie called out to him.Â
She was getting out of her seat, and then standing in front of him as she asked, âWhen are you going to give her our gift?â
Steve blinked for a moment before answering, âWe can do it now, go get her and Iâll go grab it from the car.â He was already digging into his pockets for his keys, but Cassie was stopping him.Â
âIâm playing!â she declared, âYou give her it.âÂ
Steve furrowed his brows at his daughter and asked, âWait, so you donât want to watch her open the gift we got her?â
His daughter was shaking her head, but Steve felt like he saw something in her eyes, something mischievous and all in all suspicious .Â
âI think Iâm getting sleepy too,â Cassie said, then yawned dramatically after. Steve squinted his eyes at her, wondering why she was acting so strangely.
âJust give her the gift yourself Steve, jeesh,â Mike called, anxious to get back to the campaign and spend as much time as possible on it before the clock struck 12. Steve gave him a look before looking back at Cassie who was giving him a very sleepy smile. Sighing, he nodded and said if sheâs that tired then she should lay down before he kissed her head and turned to go back upstairs.Â
Cassie watched her dad go, before she turned and eagerly skipped back in her chair between Max and Lucas.Â
âWhat are you up to, Cassie?â Max asked suspiciously, and the little girl could only laugh.
Steve had left the house, grabbing the gift from the backseat and came back in to find you. You were in the living room, sitting on the couch beside Nancy and having a conversation when Steve was suddenly placing his hand on your shoulder to capture your attention.Â
You hummed as you looked up at him, cheeks a little warm from the alcohol youâve consumed since you arrived at this party and smiling sweetly at the sight of his soft stare.Â
âCome with me,â Steve told you, and you nodded, turning to tell Nancy youâd be right back. Nancy held her drink up to her lips as she said, âItâs almost midnight, donât be away long you guys.âÂ
You chuckled as you stood up, taking your cup with you as you followed Steve into the kitchen. You stopped in front of the island at the center, and turned to ask Steve if everything was alright only to be met with a bright red bag being held in front of your face.Â
You blinked softly, your mind moving a little slow that it was indeed a gift for you. The gift that Heidi had told you he was getting you.Â
âOh you didnât have toâŠâ you said, gazing at the bag. Steve shook his head.Â
âNo, I wanted toâŠCass threw something in there too for you, by the way, I think it was a huge candy cane and a pencil, sorry to spoil the surprise.âÂ
You chuckled at that, taking the bag from Steve and twisting around so you could place it on the counter. Steve moved to the other side of the counter, leaning on it with both forearms as he watched with his brown eyes you start to take out the red tissue paper.Â
The candy cane showed up first, and it was pretty big, the middle of it wrapped with a big red bow with a tag that said from Cassie in all caps. You smiled warmly, setting it aside gently before digging more into the gift. You didnât find a pencil, but you did find a bag of carrots tied with the same red ribbon as the candy cane.
You laughed loudly, before your other hand covered your mouth and you tried to contain that laugh especially when you looked up and saw Steveâs face. He was completely dumbfounded staring at the carrots.Â
âWhat theâŠwhen the hell did she put those in there?â He asked, bewildered by the reveal, âShe said she put a pencil in there!â He pointed at them, before he turned his head toward the entryway to the basement, where he knew Cassie still was, knowing that if she was here sheâd be laughing just like you were. Maybe that was why she was acting so weirdâŠshe threw carrots in there without telling him.Â
You held the bag of carrots to your chest and said, â I love them. Donât know whatâs going to beat these to be honest, but weâll see.â You shook the bag lightly, feeling that it was pretty heavy, and something clinked together in there.
Steve turned back to you, horrified by what you just did and you shook it again lightly to freak him out some more before setting the carrots down and digging deeper into the bag. Your hand wrapped around something, and you knew what it was before you even brought it out.Â
It was a bottle of wine.Â
â Oh .â
You looked at it closely, already feeling your mouth water just a little and you said suspiciously, âHow did you know I was out?â He laughed at that, leaning away to push his hair out of his face nervously before leaning back down.
âI remember you bought that like weeks ago,â Steve told you quickly, âThen you bought it again before ChristmasâŠI assumed it would be gone.â
You grinned widely, and set it down. You really canât believe he remembered that.Â
âThereâs more in there, like two more things. Robin helped me figure out what else to get you.âÂ
âThen I know itâll be good ,â you teased, making his sweet smile turn into an amused one. You took out the next thing. It was a candle, a three-wick one to be precise and you gasped loudly, tearing off the tin lid and bringing it up to your nose.Â
You welcomed the sweet, vanilla scent of it, and sighed loudly. Steve was staring at you expectantly, eyes a little concerned as if he was afraid you werenât going to like it.Â
âYou like it? Because I like this candle too, a lot, Iâve gone through like three of them and I thought youâd like it too,â Steve told you, and you smelled it again.Â
âAre you kidding? It smells so good,â you replied, still holding the candle up to your face, âItâs so sweet, thank you.âÂ
You inhaled it again, before setting that aside too. Steve continued to watch with anticipation as you finally pulled the last item out. It was wrapped in paper, so you meticulously removed it before you realized it was a mug that said â Worldâs Best Teacher.â A little cheesy, but incredibly sweet as he said, âI know youâre not a teacher yet, but heyâŠwhen you are , you have the mug to prove it.âÂ
You just stared at the mug, your cheeks hurting from how much youâd been smiling and you lifted your eyes to meet him as you thanked him, âThank you SteveâŠand Cassie too wherever she is.âÂ
You set the mug down beside the other gifts, feeling slightly overwhelmed (and a little shameful as all you got Steve was a card and giftcard). You relayed this to him and he laughed softly at you.Â
âI literally displayed that card,â Steve said, before his cheeks turned red with embarrassment that heâd just said that, and he coughed into his hand before asking, âSo you liked them?â
You nodded, âYes, althoughâŠI think the carrots were my favorite,â you said jokingly. Steve scoffed at you, though the smug grin on his lips showed that he knew it was just a joke, especially as he watched you gaze almost lovingly at the three things he chose for you.Â
You loved the gifts, you loved the candle, the wineâŠthe mug âŠyou lovedâŠ
You paused your thoughts, as they were about to say you loved him . It was sillyâŠridiculous evenâŠto say you loved him. You could lie to yourself and say the love you felt for him was platonic, but you knew it was a lie. You fell in love with Steve Harrington.Â
He was still looking at you, still leaning on his forearms on the island across from you, brown eyes soft and warm. Your heart just bloomed in your chest, and butterflies just erupted in your stomach, and thenâŠyou were leaning in without thinking.Â
Steve went still when he felt your lips against his, having not been expecting it, not at all. You were kissing him, literally kissing him. His mind short circuited and he couldnât keep up with it, that when you pulled away he almost thought it didnât happen if not for the tingle left on his lips by yours.Â
âIâŠâ
Your voice was breathless, and your eyes horrified as you realized what you had just done. You stepped back, pressing your lips, that were surely tingling like Steveâs were, together and you said, âIâm so sorry. I shouldnât haveâŠâ
Steveâs mind caught up with him in an instant, and he stood up straight, not wanting you to go all of a sudden.Â
âWaitâŠâ he told you, stepping out from behind the counter and moving toward you. His body was engulfed in warmth, mind with disbelief really at what just happened, and he stood in front of you, looking at you almost tenderly.Â
You stared back at him, still embarrassed, body a little rigid and tense and he opened his mouth to say something more, anything, and he seemed to be stuck on what he wanted to say, eyebrows furrowing and a frown overcoming his lips before he dropped his head slightly and said, âDonât be sorry.â
Your own eyebrows furrowed at this, cheeks heating up somehow even more , not understanding what he meant. Suddenly, you felt his hand on your cheek, his touch electrifying, and then his hand was underneath your chin, making you tilt your head upward.
Your breath hitched, not being able to take your eyes off of him. His own brown gaze had flickered downward, resting on yours lips, the lips that were just on his and thenâŠhis eyes met yours and he was leaning in again.Â
You held your breath.
Then, just as you felt his lips just barely graze yours, the sound of somebody running up the stairs ripped you and Steve out of this moment. He was stepping away from you quickly, and you backed up too, your back hitting the wall just as the door was flung open and Max, Lucas, and Dustin were there wearing their New Years Party hats with a noisemaker in each of their mouths. Dustin had two in his mouth though, weirdly.Â
âItâs almost time for the ball to drop,â Dustin stated, voice muffled as he shifted to the side to let Mike, El, and Will walk by the both of them, stalking toward the living room. Cassie was behind them, wearing a party hat and holding another in her hand, which she held out to you.Â
âLetâs go!â she said eagerly. You couldnât really deny her, just standing almost motionlessly as Cassie took your hand and began to pull you. You cast one last look at Steve, who was just standing there with an unreadable expression on his features.Â
It was Lucas who stood there silently, looking between both you and Steve, seeing whatever it was that Max and Dustin (and understandably Cassie) seemed to not be seeing at this moment, unless they were just ignoring it. He crossed his arms and hummed quietly to himself.Â
Cassie managed to pull you away then, smiling cheekily as she dragged you toward the living room where everyone would be gathered when they ring in the New Year. Steve watched Cassie take you away, expression turning almost sad .
âHello? Earth to Steve?â Dustin said, then blew the noisemakers, making Steve jump and give him a look.Â
âI heard you, Henderson, jeesh,â Steve said, turning so he could place all your gifts back into the bag. They watched him do so, Lucas with a now knowing look in his eyes and Max with a raised brow. Steve walked to the living room without looking at any of them.Â
They watched him go and Lucas said, âThey definitely just made out or something.âÂ
âWell, why wouldnât they? Theyâre dating,â Max replied, walking away first. Lucas huffed and followed after her while Dustin stared at the empty kitchen, knowing that Steve and you werenât actually dating and just playing along with the joke.Â
He shook his head and said, â Seriously ?â to himself.
⧠⧠â§
It was almost two weeks into the New Year, and with Cassie starting school up again, Steve dove himself into work. He did this because it was the only thing that kept him from thinking about New Years, from thinking about you .Â
And it was hard work because now that he knew how your lips felt against his, he couldnât stop thinking about you, every crevice of his mind was overtaken by you. You consumed him completely, and if it took focusing on making ten USS butterscotches, rewinding tapes all night, or restocking a bunch of ravioli cans to get him back to a more stable state of mind, thatâs what he was going to have to do.Â
In the meantime, you had been doing the same. One of the assistant teachers had been out for a while for the afterschool program at Hawkins Elementary, and you offered to fill in. It was easy enough to distract you, as you were doing what you loved and wanted to do for a living, but the moment you were left with your thoughts it was just of Steve and you felt confused, a bit ashamed, and incredibly heated, as when you closed your eyes you could still see the way he looked at you, and feel his large hand on your chin, so close to leaning in and kissing you again.Â
Your heart fluttered in your chest at the memory, and heat pooled in your stomach.Â
Then, the shame would settle in cruelly, because now it felt like you couldnât be around the guy, too embarrassed, and fearful that he didnât want to be around you. You felt sick at the thought of that.Â
Until the day Cassie came to see you.Â
The conversation had been brief, considering it was at the school library, and it ended with her asking you to join her and her dad ice skating.
âIâŠIâm not sure, Cass,â you said, voice soft as you were still in the library. She was holding a stack of paperback books, and was shaking her head.
âBut you have to, itâs going to close, and you said you could teach me to skate,â Cassie declared, making you sigh at the little girl.Â
â Roller skate,â you replied, and she shrugged then paused before she batted her eyelashes at you and said, âMy daddy wants you there, he said we can go only if you go.âÂ
You stared at Cassie, watching as she said â pleaseeeeeâ before sticking her bottom lip out to really sell the puppy dog look she was giving you. You werenât sure if she was telling you the truth about that, as Steve wouldâve called you, but you also didnât want to say no to Cassie.Â
She had made that expression to you before, when she was practically begging you to help her and Steve bake, and you didnât have Steve to scold her. You knew then that you were for sure going to join them ice skating, and your stomach twisted at the mere thought of seeing Steve.Â
What the hell were you going to say to him? You felt like puking, the anxiety was too much, but Cassie had got you to agree to it. Saturday, tomorrow , at Scoops Ahoy in Starcourt (As the skating rink was set up in their parking lot). She had skipped away with a smile on her lips, probably happy knowing she got her way.Â
⧠⧠â§
It wasnât a busy day at Scoops Ahoy, as it usually goes in the Winter. There were quite a few people who enjoyed a nice scoop of ice cream or a sundae on even a day as cold as this one, which was probably the coldest day of the season. Still, even with those types of people it wasnât busy, so Steve was able to easily hold down the fort on his own until his shift ended.
He mainly stayed in the back, doing extra work in counting the inventory of the freezer. He made sure, too, to stay close to the window, so he could hear if any customers approached the counter.
Eventually, the bell did ring, taking his focus away from the numbers on the clipboard he was currently looking over. He didnât look up, wanting to finish what he was doing first, so instead he called, âBe with you in a moment!â His voice muffled as he had a pen between his lips.
He pulled the pen off of its cap, and it remained between his lips as he quickly jotted something down beside the vanilla ice cream portion. When he finished, he suddenly felt compelled to look up. When he did, he almost spit the cap out on the floor.Â
It was the person who had been plaguing his every thought when it wasnât focused on a task, the person whose lips had touched his if even for a second. It was you , and he had to blink a few times, wondering if heâd become so overworked that he hallucinated you.Â
When you smiled sweetly at him, and waved a gloved hand at him, he knew for sure you were real.Â
Heâd never seen you here before, never , and he suddenly felt, for the first time since high school, very self-conscious in his silly uniform. Thank god he decided to go without the sailor hat today. He very quickly started to move, setting the clipboard aside and taking the cap out of his mouth before he smiled back at you and scrambled to the door that led back to behind the counter.Â
âHey!â Steve said, his voice a little higher than usual, especially when he saw you did a quick glance at the uniform, and he quickly asked, âWhat- what are you doing here?âÂ
At his question you lifted your eyes at him and tilted your head as you replied, âI uhâŠCassie told me to come. I donât see her anywhere though?âÂ
You turned away from Steve, as if not wanting to make eye contact with him as you gestured around the parlor, which made his heart tear, but not when he realized what you had just said. Cassie told you to come?
âWait- she told you to come here? Right now?â he asked. You nodded, finally looking at him.Â
âYeah, she said something about going ice skating with you both? And well, she conned me into agreeing,â you said, then laughed lamely at your own joke. Steve didnât laugh, not because he didnât find it funny, in fact he liked when you laughed at your own remarks, but becauseâŠCassie wasnât here , and they never discussed going ice skating. Well they did, but the answer was no .Â
âIf you donât want me to join because- well- I mean- you know - I can go, I really donât mind,â you were starting to say, but Steve was suddenly resting his hands on his waist and shook his head.
âNo! WellâŠI meanâŠI think she conned both of us,â he replied incredulously, âWeâre notâŠsheâs not even here - I wonât even see her until tomorrow because sheâs at a sleepover.â
This had visibly taken you off guard, your eyebrows that were once furrowed were not raising before you opened your mouth and let out a breath.Â
âShe is?â you asked, âWhen was that planned?âÂ
âEarlier this week,â Steve replied, shaking his head in disbelief. What was Cassie thinking? Creating a fake plan and making you come all the way down here? He was genuinely confused by her strange behavior. Immediately, he started to apologize for her, âIâm so sorry, I donât know why she would even do that. I mean, I know she wants to go ice skating really bad, but- I didnât think sheâd make something up in order to go ice skating, but, sheâs not even here -âÂ
âNo, no itâs okay, maybe I misheard her,â you said, though you were sure you didnât, but decided to convince yourself that you did. You rather ended up laughing, finding a bit of amusement in the situation. Steve listened to your laugh, the awkward feeling he dreaded when he would see you again was replaced with a familiar warmth.
He laughed too, finally.Â
âI know you said itâs okay, but yeah Iâm sorry,â he said after laughing, and you nodded.Â
âWellâŠsince Iâm here I canât help but recallâŠâ you trailed off, and Steveâs stomach twisted pleasantly, thinking you were going to bring up that New Years kiss, but you lifted your eyes away from him and looked at the menu before finishing with, â...that you said youâd make me aâŠwhat was it? A USS Butterscotch ?âÂ
Steve tilted his head, then laughed breathlessly as he remembered he did technically say heâd treat you to some free ice cream that night. Your eyes averted back to his, and he reached to grab his scooper from his uniform and flipped it expertly as he said, âComing right upâŠand maybe, if you want , just to get Cassie backâŠwe could go ice skating and make sure to tell her all about it.âÂ
The thought made you giggle, imagining his daughterâs face realizing her whatever little trick she had planned backfired and that they still went ice skating without her.Â
Soon you were sitting at a booth, Steve sitting across from you and pushing the well-made sundae toward you, then he slid over a spoon as well.Â
âI think this is the best one Iâve made,â he admitted to you, though his leg was still bouncing underneath the table, nervous for some reason that youâd hate it. He felt ridiculous because it was ice cream and heâs never met anyone who hated it, especially if it was free and as beautiful as the sundae he just made for you.Â
âI like the cones as sails,â you commented, leaning down to admire the piece of art heâd made in an Ice Cream parlor, âItâs cute .â
â Cute , yeah it is,â he said, though he wasnât looking at the sundae and you noticed it. You smiled, your heart pacing in your chest before you took the plastic spoon from him, grazing your fingers with his in the process. That was an accident, but a happy one as Steve sucked in a tight breath as he watched you scoop some onto your spoon, taking a cherry one one of the scoops with it.Â
It was good, really good, so much that you went for a second spoonful immediately and Steve grinned, âEnjoying it?âÂ
âThis is delicious, damn, I bet it tastes even better in the summer,â you said before taking another spoonful, âAlso, I didnât say , but I love the uniform.âÂ
You meant it too, the sailor costume suited him somehow, and you thought the shorts looked pretty good on him too. You did feel bad, just a bit, that he had to wear shorts during the winter though.Â
His cheeks turned red, and it made you chuckle into your spoon, âHard to believe no girls liked you when you first worked here, honestly, I think I wouldâve been in here everyday to see King Steve serve ice cream.âÂ
âBelieve me, I wouldâve had a much better time if you were in here all the time back then,â Steve replied, âYouâd probably skate in on your disco roller skates or something, because more than likely you wouldâve worked at the old skating rink.â
â Old skating rink?â you asked, and he nodded and told you that there had been a skating rink where the mallâs arcade is now, but there was a fire a few years back and they never brought it back. You hummed with interest as you ate more of the ice cream.Â
âYeah, they had these uniforms too, not as ridiculous as this ,â he said, patting himself on the chest, âBut it was vibrant, and I think they had to wear glow sticks , and then theyâd be playing disco music constantly, you wouldâve loved it.âÂ
âWasâŠâ you suddenly paused, the question you were about to ask feeling like one that would overstep a boundary. Steve tilted his head curiously at you, and you shook your head as you averted your attention back to the ice cream.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âNothing,â you replied quickly, âJust a dumb question I donât need the answer to.â
âWell, now I gotta know, come onâŠjust ask,â Steve said, feeling his heart starting to blossom in his chest. He wondered if you were going to ask about New Years, even though it would seem quite random in the conversation.Â
You set the spoon into the sundae, and said, âI was just going to ask ifâŠCassieâs mom was one of those girls.âÂ
Steve paused, not expecting that out of all questions. Itâs never come up in conversation with the both of you, but it wasnât all surprising after a second of contemplation. She had been looming over him lately. He shifted in his spot, and inhaled before he said, âNah. She actually knew me before âŠwe were actually friends âŠbutâŠyeah itâs a long story. It uhâŠwe actually worked at the video store together after me and Robin got fired from Scoops and well..yeah you knowâŠI guess it does say something that we didnât get together when I worked here.â
You were relieved he had replied. He leaned back in the booth, a troubled look coming over his features as if he didnât know what else to say, and you cleared your throat as you ate another scoop then set the spoon down.Â
âSorry for asking, it isnât my place,â you said, cheeks turning warm and feeling stupid, but he quickly shook his head.Â
âNo, no , itâs alright,â he said, âI mean Cassie had a mom, obviously, sheâs just not here and I canât be mad at you for being curious.âÂ
You smiled tightly, and he reached up to smooth his hair back before he exhaled softly and said, sensing you werenât convinced it was okay, âSeriously. Itâs okay. I can even tell you more actually, if you want. SheâŠshe was my friend once, then we werenât friends for a while because she skipped town, then one day she came back and we were friends again and uhâŠthen well⊠a year later Cassie was born and she left again .âÂ
He was purposely not telling you specifics, and you werenât going to press him, still feeling like you were overstepping even though he assured you that you werenât. You took the spoon again, messing with the ice cream and tearing your eyes away from him as you said, âIâm sorry.âÂ
Steve shook his head again, then waved his hand for added effect, âYou donât have to be sorry about anythingâŠyou knowâŠlike on New Years.âÂ
At the mention of it, you froze, having thought that him not mentioning it meant there was silent agreement to not bring it up and just forget it. You were doing so well not being so awkward. You looked up at him, seeing his cheeks were a little pink before he leaned both hands on the table between you and shot you a sweet grin, and he said, âWe were both a little tipsy.âÂ
For some reason, that made your heart drop and you realized you maybe thought he was going to declare his love for you or something. Not wanting to show it on your face, you were quick to take another scoop of ice cream and stick the spoonful in your mouth before you forced yourself to laugh.
Steveâs eyes flickered your expression without you noticing, a frown flashing over his lips before he too forced a laugh out. Then, both of you were saved by the bell. He turned his head, seeing a family standing by the counter and his eyes flashed to the clock. This would for sure be his last customer before clocking out, before you both go ice skating to spite his trickster of a daughter.Â
Meanwhile, as he excused himself, you made it your goal to finish the sundae as a distraction from the conflicted feelings that were stirring inside of you.Â
15 minutes had passed then, and before you knew it Steve was emerging from the backroom in a dark red sweatshirt and loose dark gray sweatpants while holding his winter coat in one arm. He certainly looked like someone who was expecting to go straight home after work, because after all it wasnât planned and you told him that you didnât have to ice skate if heâd rather go home.Â
âNo way. Iâm not gonna let Cass do this to us without consequences,â he said as he shrugged on his coat, then helped you put yours back on like it was second nature. You didnât even notice as you put your arms through the sleeves and he pat your shoulders down.Â
âWe could always just say we went ice skating,â you said, and Steve shook his head.Â
âNo, weâre doing this for real,â he said, determined to go ice skating even if it was starting to snow outside again, because after all the ice skating rink was set up in the parking lot of Starcourt. Couples, families, groups of teens already with their rental skates on skating in a circle by the time you were out there with Steve, holding your respective rental skates.
After getting the skates on, you placed your beanie on your head, and then your gloves while Steve pulled random gloves from his coat pocket and placed them on his hands as well. You wondered if he was warm enough as you observed him, eyes flickering over the snowflakes that decorated the strands of his brunette hair.Â
You were a bit jealous of them, then felt ridiculous for being jealous of a damn snowflake. You scowled at your silly thoughts as you stood up, balancing on the skates with ease and Steve lifted his head at you then did the same. Although, he wasnât as elegant as you. Immediately his arms spread out, and his legs twisted awkwardly.Â
âOh shit ,â he said, desperately trying to balance on the blades and you could only stand there staring at him, amusement replacing your self-embarrassment.Â
âAre you good?â you asked, and after a moment he managed to keep still and without looking up from the ground he replied, âTotally. Iâm totally good. Donât worry about me.âÂ
You furrowed your brows before you said, âHave you ice skated before Steve?âÂ
â Yeah ,â he said, trying to step toward you confidently but then cursing when his foot bent slightly. You caught his hands this time, laughing softly, âIâm just not, you know, good at it.â
âI find that hard to believe,â you said, letting his hands grip yours tightly as he found his balance again. You werenât even on the ice yet. At your words, Steve lifted his head to meet your eyes, and your faces were in such close proximity that his cheeks grew warm.Â
âWhat do you mean?â he asked.Â
âJust Robin went on about how you were good at everything in high school,â you teased, starting to step backward toward the ice. Steve grasped your hands tighter, and replied with a nervous laugh, âEveryone has their weakness. I wasnât a hockey player, I was a basketball, baseball, tennis, badmintonâŠâ he trailed off purposely with other sports that had nothing to do with ice skating, making you giggle.Â
âAre you sure you want to do this then? Like I said we could always just say we went ice skating,â you said as you were right at the ice. Steve nodded confidently.Â
âI mean, I already got the skates on, and then I have a skater to help me soâŠâÂ
âWell, I am better at roller skatingâŠbut if we both fall and get hurt at least weâll have evidence we went ice skating,â you said, half-joking as you yourself were a bit nervous. You were for sure more of a roller skater than an ice skater, but it seemed like Steve didnât know the difference. A skater was good at all kinds of skating to him.Â
âGod the last thing I need is to get injured,â he said, hands still clasped tightly around yours, â Oh my god .âÂ
You were on the ice now, gliding backwards and pulling Steve with you. His legs spread out, he nearly fell onto you as you laughed.Â
âShould we have brought Cassieâs elbow and knee pads for you?â You teased again, and he laughed sarcastically.
âHa. Ha. Very funny,â he said then panicked when he almost slipped, and wouldâve fallen had you not been holding onto him, âYup, yup this was a bad idea,â he told you, eyes wide and cheeks even more red from embarrassment and the cold weather.Â
You shook your head and said, âWeâre already here! Come on, letâs at least skate one lap.âÂ
From afar there was a shout, then laughter and you both turned your heads to see someone had fallen and their friends were laughing at them. They flipped them off before moving to stand, and Steve grimaced, already imagining that to be him .Â
âHere,â you removed one hand from his, and his eyes grew even wider, believing for a second you were going to do what some parents do when teaching their kids how to swim, just throwing them into the water so their survival instincts kick in (except you were going to leave him, a grown man, on a sheet of ice wearing knives for shoes), but you kept a firm hold on one hand, âJust focus on staying balanced, and if you think youâre going to fallâŠwell let me go so I donât go down either .âÂ
Steve glided away from you, but found a nice balance by just holding your hand. Truth be told, he was starting to get an idea, as it really wasnât his first time ice skating. Just after the first time he vowed never to do it again, yet, here he was with the woman he couldnât stop thinking about even before that tipsy (though you both knew you were anything but tipsy that night) willingly ice skating.Â
â One lap ,â Steve told you, and you squeezed his hand.Â
âOne lap,â you repeated, then grinned as you glided forward, Steveâs wobbling legs struggling to follow suit.Â
From an outsider's perspective, you and Steve appeared to be a couple on some sort of date, and since there were people there who recognized the pair to be you and Steve, such as Holly Wheeler with her friends, and a few faculty members of Hawkins Elementary, it seemed to them that it was a date. That you and Steve, as they all suspected, were together romantically.Â
Your laughs could be heard by them as you passed by, and whenever you were looking forward, Steve would be looking at you with adoration in brown eyes, blinking only to get the snowflakes off of his thick lashes because he didnât want to have any other reason to take his eyes off of you.Â
He was clearly, so desperately, in love with you from the eyes of others, clear to everyone but the two people it should be clear to. As far as you both knew (or convinced yourselves really), you were just friends who decided to skate together in the beginning of the final snow storm of the season, as the wind picked up and the snowfall became more frequent.Â
You had skated more than one lap, your hands not leaving each other even once as you shared this moment together, and you wouldâve gone for more had the rink decided not to close early. Both of you were disappointed, hating that the fun was over so soon, hating that youâd have to leave each other again, all so you both can go home and lay in your respective beds with warmth bursting in your stomachs at the thought of the other. You would both look at the phones, thinking if you should call the other, if the other would pick up right away because these feelings were killing them too.Â
It seemed though that the night wouldnât end that way, as Steve had walked you to your car like the gentleman he was, and it didnât start . You were practically shivering as you attempted to start it again, twisting the key in the ignition and getting nothing.Â
âWell damn ,â you said with a scowl, and a chatter of your teeth as Steve furrowed his eyebrows before he cursed himself.Â
âI said Iâd look at your car and I never did,â he said, finding a way to blame himself for your predicament, but you were quick to brush it off.Â
âNo itâs my fault, I had plenty of chances to get it looked at and I justâŠnever did,â you laughed, feeling foolish, âIt would break down in the middle of a snow storm though.âÂ
Steve laughed too, though it was more of a pity laugh before he said heâd be more than happy to take you home, promising that thereâd be working heat in his car. You didnât have to be asked twice, letting him lead you toward his familiar car.Â
⧠⧠â§
The blizzard had gotten worse by the time Steve pulled up to your house, pulling the car into your empty driveway carefully with a hyperfocus driverâs in the snow should have. His lights were barely able to capture your garage door, stepping on the breaks as he did. Your seatbelt locked, and you bounced forward slightly as he quickly apologized.Â
âItâs so bad out there, god,â you commented, not blaming him for almost crashing into your garage. You also silently thought to yourself it was just as well that your car broke down and Steve had to take you home. You probably wouldâve never made it here had you had to drive alone from Starcourt.Â
â Yeah ,â Steve agreed, looking through the windshield as the wipers worked overtime to get the snow off, âI hope I can get home in this.â He shook his head with discontentment, and you blinked, an idea popping in your mind.Â
âYou donât have toâŠwe can put your car in the garage, and you can stay until it dies down a little?â you suggested innocently. Steve looked at you now, looking quite touched by your invitation and you offered a small smile.Â
âWould it be okay to ask for something hot? Like coffee?â he asked you, and you chuckled.Â
âYou read my mind.â
Itâs how you found yourself in your kitchen with Steve Harrington for the second time, except this time neither of you were covered in various baking ingredients. You were in front of your french coffee press, the thick scent of coffee beans filling the atmosphere. Steve was rubbing his hands together, desperate to feel some kind of heat as your heater was barely kicking on.
The wind blew outside, causing the boards of your windows to knock together loudly and then your house to shake momentarily as well. Steve looked around, and then blew into his hands as he said, âYou mind if I take the couch? I doubt this is going to go down anytime soon.âÂ
You glanced at him, the idea of him sleeping over making your heart leap of your chest, as you felt the last thing you needed was the man you desperately wanted romantically, but couldnât have to be sleeping under the same roof as you. You wouldnât be able to sleep, but who would you be to refuse a friend , especially in a storm like this.Â
You poured coffee into one of the mugs you had taken out of the cupboard, clearing your throat as you said, âNo, I donât mind, Iâll get some extra blankets and pillows after thisâŠI actually wonder if Cassie is okay.âÂ
âOh I know sheâs loving this,â Steve replied, noticing you were pouring coffee into a mug and staring at the steaming mug with anticipation, âSheâs probably only upset sheâs not home because when blizzards like this happen I usually make her hot chocolate and we sit in the kitchen just listening to it or in the living room staring out the window. Weather like this intrigues her.âÂ
You smiled, and said, âThatâs good. Iâd be scared to death at her age, honestly.â
You held the mug out for Steve and he gladly took it, inhaling deeply and practically moaning. You laughed at that, cheeks becoming inflamed as you put creamer into your coffee to sweeten it up. Steve did the same.Â
âYeah, me too,â he replied to your prior statement, âI actually used to think the house was going to blow away and weâd end up halfway across the country.âÂ
âHonestly, at this rate, I wouldnât be surprised,â you said just as another sharp gust of wind passed and gave a violent shake to the house. Steve looked around again, looking nervous now that it may be true, but the number of blizzards he went through in his childhood alone was enough evidence to know that it simply wasnât possible. It was one of the main reasons he made sure Cassie wouldnât have to endure a bad storm or blizzard like this alone.
Steve took a sip of his coffee then, not caring that it was still too hot to drink, and just wanting to feel some kind of warmth as it seemed your heater was struggling to fight against the cold. It shouldâve been the first sign that something was going to happen.Â
You leaned into your counter, holding your own mug with both hands and breathing in the steam deeply and closing your eyes.
âThis is kind of nice, actually,â you admitted as you took a sip as well, listening to the harsh winds and Steve agreed.
âThanks for letting me stay, by the way,â he told you, âI thought maybe Iâd be pushing it by asking.â
You shook your head, as your concern wasnât with him overstepping any kind of boundary.Â
âDonât. I mean, weâre friends, Steve,â you willed yourself to say into your coffee.
Steve averted his eyes to yours, seeing you were looking mindlessly at nothing, and he pressed his lips together before breathlessly saying, â Yeah , friends.â
You both silently drank your coffee, enjoying its warmth and enjoying the way it eased the sudden awkwardness between the two of you. It was a perfect distraction, for the time being, until you both wanted more.
As you poured a second round of coffee into his mug, Steve cleared his throat and said, â Great coffee.âÂ
You thanked him cheekily, and Steve dragged the mug closer to him, keeping his gaze on you as you poured more into your own mug. He didnât know what to say, unsure, but there was a sudden hard gust of wind, and then it sounded like something crashed . You both had jumped, you were thankfully not holding the coffee, and before either of you could question what just happened, you were suddenly engulfed in darkness.Â
âGod, the lights went out!â you called, hands grasping your kitchen counter as you navigated in the darkness. Steve noticed you sounded further into the kitchen, and blinked his eyes a few times trying to adjust to the sudden darkness.Â
âGot any flashlights?â Steve asked you, speaking the direction of a drawer being opened and rummaged through.Â
âIn the garage,â you told him, and then he saw a small flicker of light. You were holding an ignited match, and then, you were lighting a candle to at least give some light for your venture to the garage.
You approached Steve then, holding the lit up candle in your hand and Steve was immediately met with the familiar vanilla scented candle he had in his own house, the same candle he had gifted you on New Years.Â
âHeyâŠI know this candle,â Steve said, and you chuckled softly as you replied, â Yeah , huh, itâs like you knew weâd need this.âÂ
Steve inhaled deeply, loving the smell and you did the same, and said, âI love it so much.âÂ
Your face was illuminated by the candlelight, casting a pretty glow on your features and Steve had to release a breath, a breath of which almost blew the candle out. This made you laugh and lean away from him to make sure he didnât and told him to follow you.Â
You and him had gone into your garage, you picking out the flashlights that Steve turned on so you more light than the candle. It was the harsh cold in there that made you both realize that if the power was out, then you wouldnât have your heater .Â
âWeâre going to freeze,â you said in a dreadful tone, already feeling a chill coming over you. Steve was holding your only working flashlight, and shined it around your living room as he said something about body warmth , before he paused and said, âWe can light a fire? Have any wood?âÂ
You promptly looked over his body warmth comment, since he seemed to do so, and you paused as you remembered that in early December Heidiâs husband had given you a bunch of firewood because he had cut too many. You had planned to use it, but never found the time to actually start a fire, so it simply sat in your garage. You relayed this to Steve, and he seemed more than happy to go and get them.Â
âWe should bring all the blankets and pillows you have out here so we can sit on the floor,â Steve told you, and you nodded, turning to go grab those while Steve busied himself with starting a fire. You had decided, as well, that you were going to light various candles, or at least the ones you could find.Â
You placed them on a few surfaces located in your living room, and just as you set down the last one, a fire was ignited in your fireplace and Steve was leaning over it, rubbing his hands in front of the growing flames and nodding as if proud of himself that you werenât going to freeze to death, not on his watch.Â
The sight made you smile, thankful that Steve was here and thankful that you never used the firewood. He turned then, looking around the dimly lit living room as he noticed there were more candles and you watched his brown eyes flicker all over the room until they finally found you.Â
âAh, there you are, come on, itâs warmer right here,â Steve told you, and you set down the candle and obliged. You fell to the ground next to him, not before grabbing one of your blankets, and sighed at the heat that emitted from the well lit fire.Â
âBetter?â he asked you and nodded.Â
â Yeah ,â you said, holding your hands out to the flame and Steve gave a nod as he said, âGood.âÂ
After getting a bit warm, Steve suddenly laughed and said, âGot any more of that wine I got you? Could help warm us up a bit more.âÂ
You were quick to stand, loving that idea, and Steve seemed surprised that you in fact did have the wine. You took the flashlight, and he listened to a bit of rustling in the kitchen and the sound of a cabinet being opened and closed followed by the sound of glasses clinking.Â
As you were setting everything on the counter, there was another gust of wind that shook the house violently, and you almost dropped one of the glasses. You looked around, then shook your head and wondered as you grabbed the wine if you had a battery operated stereo.Â
You did, actually, and thought Steve might appreciate something playing over the harsh sound of the blizzard going on outsideâŠeven if it was just disco music.Â
It actually amused Steve, as he poked at the growing fire, and then started to busy himself with setting up the blankets and pillows you had thrown on the floor more comfortably, when he suddenly heard music from behind him.Â
âSo we donât have to listen to this blizzard threatening to blow my house across the country,â you said with a giggle as you walk toward him, already feeling the warmth of the crackling fire. Steve grinned, and told you it was a good idea and you settled onto the floor beside him, holding out a wine glass to him.Â
âIs this the same one I got you on New Years, or is it a whole new one?â Steve asked you as he took the wine from you, determined to be the one to pour it like the gentleman he was.Â
âItâs the same one,â you said, holding out your own glass and watching him pour the dark liquid in it, âI didnât have time to drink itâŠand if I did, we wouldâve even had any because I wouldnât have had time to get another anywayâŠâÂ
âWell, thank goodness for a busy schedule,â Steve joked as he finished pouring some into his own glass and he lifted it toward you, âCheers.âÂ
You clink your glass with his with a soft laugh before you settled into the nest of pillows and blankets and begin sipping your wine. The house warmed up gradually, or at least in the living room where you sat, and the wine, even after a couple of sips, was doing its job as well. You felt a warm heat settle in you caused by the alcohol, and was growing more content with the situation you found yourself in with Steve.Â
Plus, the fire was pleasant to just stare at him, the wood crackling and embers glowing.Â
After another minute of silence, Steve turned to you and said almost jokingly, âSoâŠIâm gonna be here for a while. Plenty of time for us to exchange our life story, actually.â
He laughed softly after and so did you, but then another silence fell before the both of you.
As Steve sat there, thinking about how to follow up with that, he suddenly thought of your question from earlier in Scoops Ahoy, and while he really didnât mind you asking, he did wonder why you asked anyway. So, he brought it up again and that dread crossed your face was apparent.Â
He thought it was cute though, seeing you distressed about it when you didnât need to be and said, âI just wanna know. Did someone say anything because this town talks.â
You turned to him, leaning your elbow on the couch you were leaning on and told him that Heidi had brought it up, which didnât surprise him.
âI was just curious,â you said lamely, âWe were talking about you, and then it just came up about her leaving or something.â
Steve was about to sip his wine but stopped midway, ears almost perking like a dogâs reaction to the sound of a crinkling bag when he heard you and Heidi were talking about him.Â
âYou were talking about me?â He asked, adding a teasing element to his voice. You looked at him, and scoffed slightly, seeing him grin slyly at you even in the dim lighting from the fire.
You were going to lie to him, say that he was brought up in conversation because of Cassie or some school event, but something suddenly compelled you to tell the truth of the contents of the conversation before the New Yearâs party, before you kissed him and he almost kissed you again. You brought your wine up to your lips, downing most of it in order to muster up whatever courage you could.
Steve was already holding the wine bottle out in order to refill your glass. You held it out to him as you spoke.
âWell, she was just saying that youâve never spent so much time with another woman since Cassieâs mom,â you said, keeping your eyes on Steve to observe his reaction, âShe seems to think that itâs because you like meâŠâ
Saying it outloud had you inwardly cringing, as you felt like a teenager again trying to tell her crush that she likes him and hopes he likes her too. These feelings had a way of bringing that out, so much that you just kept talking.
âI keep telling her weâre just friends though,â you added quickly when he was done pouring wine, âBut you probably know how she isâŠâÂ
As you continued to talk, finding excuses for what youâd just said, Steve could only watch you, drinking his own glass of wine, slightly amused by your rambling.Â
âBut thatâs a lie because she did tell me that you had seen someone else, I donât know her name but-â
âBrenda?â Steve said, and the sound of him speaking and you froze, realizing you had started to ramble and immediately shrunk in your spot as you forced yourself to meet his eyes and shrugged weakly. He sipped the rest of his wine, then went to pour more in his own glass, âGod, this town probably knows more about my life than I do.âÂ
He laughed weakly, and you sighed.Â
âI donât purposely go around asking about you, by the way, I like to learn whatever it is about you with you, like now,â you said nervously, and Steve half-smiled at that.Â
âEven if you did, I can't blame you, I donât really talk about that part of my life becauseâŠwell Iâm more concerned with Cassie,â he said, then coughed slightly, âBut uh- what else did she tell you?âÂ
You blinked softly, then said, half-lying to yourself, âFor the record I donât take her words to heartâŠbut she said thatâŠwell you never did things with Brenda that you do with me.âÂ
Steve was very quickly reminded by Robinâs words the first night was back in Hawkins for a visit. She was right, Steve thought, Steve doesnât just let people in his life. He doesnât just invite anyone to Thanksgiving, and now New Years , go apple-picking with anyone who isnât his daughter, and or suggest going ice skating when he knew he wasnât very good at it. He doesnât do these things, not sinceâŠwell Robin had brought that up too .Â
âItâs silly, I try not to think too much about it because-âÂ
âSheâs right,â Steve suddenly said, and stared at the flames of the fire for a moment before he continued to say, âI didnât do any of that with herâŠI havenât done a lot of things with anyone since Cassieâs momâŠuntil now that is.âÂ
It was a big step for him to even say anything, feeling slightly nervous, and you tilted your head gently. He pressed his lips together before chuckling breathlessly, hating that the thought of her mom in this context still bugged him so bad.Â
But he did say you both would have time to share each otherâs life stories, even though it was jokingly. He sipped his wine again, then licked his lips nervously before he said, âI was just not comfortable letting anyone into Cassieâs life, and she had told me she understood and would be okay with itâŠbut I guess she changed her mind and forgot to let me know.âÂ
âSo it just didnât work out,â you said, and he nodded.Â
âYeah, and it made feel terrible, and stupid honestly, butâŠCassieâs my number one priority, and always will beâŠafter what happened with her momâŠI have a hard time with you know, romance ,â he laughed bitterly at the end of his sentence, and it made you frown as you could tell it wasnât out of amusement.Â
âDid you love her?âÂ
It seemed only natural to the conversation for you to ask.
âDid I love Brenda? No,â he said, then felt bad how easily he said it, âGod that sounds so bad...it just wasnât really a loss like Cassieâs mom had been. Only disappointing.â
You pressed your lips together gently, then said, âSo you loved Cassieâs mom.â
Steve paused. He never really thought of her in that aspect anymore, as he struggled to admit he had any romantic feelings toward her because of the frustration of her just leaving Cassie. But he did love her, he couldnât change thatâŠ
âWe were never⊠together though, always just friends, and when she came back to Hawkins a year after we graduated and worked together at the Video StoreâŠwe decided to hook up. It was one night, and thenâŠshe was pregnant,â Steve told this without warning really, but you were intrigued by the story you wouldnât admit that you wanted to hear. Youâd rather it from him, then anyone else to know what happened.Â
âSo⊠yeah I did love her, at least after, I mean, she was pregnant with our child you know? Totally unplanned, and I wasnât about to just leave her, so I stayed and then I fell in loveâŠbut I guess I was the only one...to fall in love and to stay.â
He downed the rest of his coffee, and you took a sip of yours.Â
âThatâs⊠a lot ,â you said truthfully, not knowing what else to even say. Steve nodded.Â
âYeah, yeah youâre telling me,â he said, placing his mug down for the last time, âWhat about you? Have any tragic love stories?â He was attempting to lighten the mood after his short rant, and you could only shake your head.Â
âLike that one? No , Iâve never had the time,â you said, which was something Steve could relate to, âI was really into my studies, always to myself, I barely even had friends âŠthen you know, my dad got sick, so I stopped my life to be with him at the end of his...and now here I am.âÂ
You gestured around the room, and Steve shook his head as if he were in disbelief, âReally? Is it just me, the single dad in the room, who has a tragic love story?â
You laughed and shrugged, and he said, âYeahâŠitâs rough , butâŠat least I have CassieâŠand well⊠you .âÂ
He was taking a risk saying that to you, knowing he meant more than just as a friend. You found yourself smiling weakly at that, the heat of the room and alcohol intermixing with the normal warmth Steve always made you feel.
You sipped your wine slowly then, and you asked him if he could tell you what happened with Cassieâs mom. Steve looked torn by the question, eyes falling to the wine as he swirled it nervously and let out a breath.Â
âI still donât know the answer to that,â Steve said bitterly, then shook his head, âFor a while, we just co-parented you know, then one day she dropped Cassie off and justâŠnever came back.â
You looked saddened by his words, and Steve took another long sip of his wine, finishing his second glass. You grabbed the bottle, pouring some more in your glass before holding it out for Steve. He held his glass out, thanking you quietly. He hated talking about this, but maybe it was time he did.Â
âDid you ever find her?âÂ
Steve shook his head, laughing bitterly at that.Â
âNope, and I tried. I really did, butâŠshe just vanished off the face of earth.âÂ
You kept your gaze on the side of Steveâs face, even as you sipped your wine. You could barely see him in the dim lighting of the fire that was still ablaze in your fireplace beside the both of you. Steve sighed, rotating his wine glass again before he started to speak again.
âI was so fucking mad,â he admitted, âNot because I had to take care of Cassie myself, no I could handle that, I was practically doing it already, it was justâŠyou know⊠Cassie . She didnât understand that her mom just left her.â
The memories of those days that followed flooded through his mind, memories that still made Steve mad. Cassie was so young, too young, and he remembered how every morning she would sit in the living room by the window just waiting for her mom to show up. He kept looking for her during those days, calling around, even actively going out , but her trailer was practically abandoned, everything left behind but all her clothes, the same suitcase she used when she stayed with Steve and his parents during the last month of her pregnancy, and her car. She just dropped Cassie off and left, and it was planned.Â
He didnât realize his fists were clenching, and his body was becoming tense. You did though, frowning softly as you reached over to touch his shoulder. Steve turned his head a bit, feeling your touch bringing him back to reality.Â
âI remember her just waiting by the window for her to just show up, then just watching her give up âŠâ he continued, now looking at you, âAndâŠto be honest, Iâm so fucking scared what that is going to do to her. Right now she is okay, she is happy , but what happens when she gets older and when she asks me what happened to mom? And I have to tell her that her own mom abandoned her? And itâs suddenly a concept she fully grasps? What the hell am I going to do?â
He was asking you, even though he knew it wasnât fair to. Cassie wasnât your responsibility, but as the months turn into years the question has just been gnawing at him everytime he looked at his little girl, remembering her little face of defeat when she started to realize her mom wasnât going to come back to her. When she stopped sitting by that window.
It broke his heart, and he wished somehow that he couldâve shielded her from it all.Â
âItâsâŠnot really the same thing, butâŠâÂ
You actually speaking made Steveâs eyes flicker back to yours.Â
âI mean, I was also the daughter of a single dad, as you know,â you started, âMy mom passed away when I had barely turned 5. Her funeral is one of the first things I remember, but even then itâs a little fuzzy. I barely remember her actually or even how she looked aside from a few pictures we had, but my dad never put any of them up again when we moved. She didnât abandon me, not like Cassieâs mom, but as a kid who barely understood death it kind of felt like it.âÂ
You shifted in your spot, eyes looking at the fire now and it was Steveâs turn to stare at you.Â
âMy dad was always gone too, always working, and I never really had a constant person beside him in my life and even then, he wasnât really constant. He had to work, you know, keep him and his daughter fed. We had our special moments though,â you smiled to yourself, though it was sad he worked so much you still cherished when youâd go out to a burger joint sometimes, when he saved up to buy you your first pair of roller skates, almost enough to make you overlook the years you spent by yourself.Â
âThere were some, like my fifth grade teacher I mentioned, you probably donât even remember,â you laughed, but Steve shook his head.
âNo I do, you brought her up when we were baking,â Steve said, and you felt a bit flushed that he remembered something as small as that, but promptly blamed it on the alcohol sloshing through you and making you warmer than usual.Â
âYeah, she was there for a bit, but then we moved- for the last time thankfully- to the city where there was more work for him,â you continued, âAndâŠI was alone again. I did fun stuff, itâs where I was first introduced to discoâŠâ You lifted your hand, gesturing to the boombox that had been playing the occasional 70s disco hit in the background of your conversation.
Steve smiled at that, disco suddenly taking a place in his heart in a way he never expected it to.Â
âBut I was alone , and a lot of the time I resented my mom, my dad too because at times it felt like they both left me,â you said, âI didnât have anybody but myself, andâŠit certainly affects me even to this day.âÂ
You took a break to take a sip of your wine, in fact, you were chugging it and Steve just watched you. Despite Steve getting to know you, he knew what you meant. Every snippet of your life, from how you reacted to dinner with the Hendersonâs in November, he could see how it does, and he understands it too in a way. It was easy to feel like your own isolated island.Â
You set your glass down after downing it and turned to Steve, âAnyway, my point is, I was alone, you know? And CassieâŠwell itâs going to happen, sheâs going to wonder why her mom left her and it will hurt, butâŠsheïżœïżœïżœs not going to be alone. She has so much support from Robin, Dustin, Claudia, those abundance of kids who absolutely adore her, she just has so much love , but more importantlyâŠshe has a great dad.âÂ
Steveâs heart swelled in his chest by your words, so much that he felt like he was feeling it in his throat. He swallowed thickly, cheeks becoming flushed. You smiled at him, eyes looking quite foggy from the amount of wine youâve both consumed. Â
âI know Iâve barely got here, butâŠSteve, youâre such a good guy,â you were saying now, expression turning serious, âI can see why everyone is so obsessed with you here, and itâs not just because of your good looksâŠthatâs just an added bonus. Youâre a good guy.âÂ
He smiled at that, and you sighed softly, turning your body toward Steve and reached with the hand that wasnât holding your wine glass to gently grasp the back of his head. Steve was a little disoriented by this, but his vision cleared when he saw you were at eye level with him. He grew still, just staring back at you breathlessly.
âCassie is going to be okay because she has you .âÂ
It felt like something clicked into place when you uttered those words to Steve. He opened his lips, wanting to say something, but not knowing what. His mind picked up on the music that was playing, the soft, funky beat of the Bee Gees âHow Deep is Your Loveâ flowed through the boomboxâs speakers, traveling through the room and reaching Steve.Â
He was gazing back at you, the fire illuminating half of your face and intensifying your gaze. It was warm in here now, from the fire, the wine, from you . His breath hitched, feeling that electricity again, except it was stronger, more intense and Steve couldnât ignore it any longer.Â
Then you come to me in a summer breezeâŠkeep me warm in your love, then you softly leaveâŠ
âI wish I met you sooner,â he suddenly said, and you gently nipped your bottom lip and said, âMe too.â
Perhaps it was the wine he was drunk off of, or perhaps it was you heâs become drunk off of - it didnât matter. He parted his lips, gently licking them before his eyes flickered down to your lips. He couldnât take it anymore, and when he met your gaze again, and saw the tender way you were looking at him, he couldnât stop himself, not like he could at Thanksgiving, not like he could everytime after that. He wanted to kiss you, he needed to.
He started to lean in slowly, up until his nose gently nudged yours. You did not stop him, in fact, you were guiding him toward you, inviting him to kiss you. He let out a hot breath, realizing that you wanted this too, even though it was silly to think for a moment that you didnât, and he closed the space in between your lips like you had done in the Wheelerâs kitchen, laying his mouth on yours softly and sweetly.Â
Your lips fell together in a tender kiss, and your hand on Steveâs head drew him closer to you. You dropped the empty wine glass you held, landing safely onto the pillows and blankets still gathered around you, and he felt this hand rest on his cheek.
You were warm, so very warm , and his head became dizzy and he too had dropped his wine glass. Except his glass still had wine in it. The glass tipped to the side, its contents spilling and staining one of the pillows and the carpet that peaked out between the pillows it had fallen on.Â
Neither of you noticed, and if you did, you wouldnât have cared anyway.Â
His hands were on your waist now, pulling you toward him without parting his lips from yours, and you let him lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. Soon, you were straddling him, your legs sitting on either side of his and you finally pulled away.Â
â Steve ,â you said his name, voice breathless and tainted with wine just like Steveâs was. His hands rested on the expand of your thighs, brown eyes shining as he looked up at you.Â
âIs this okay?â he asked you, voice low and an octave lower, âI can stopâŠwe can stop.âÂ
You moved your hands to his hair, leaning forward to press your forehead against his, being able to see him better than he can see you. The light of the fire behind you now, the only light being from the small candles placed on various parts of your home, but he could feel your face against his, and he could feel you nod .
Like your lips were a magnet, he was kissing you again, combining your breath together as he consumed your lips with his with an intensity that had you falling against him and letting his kiss lure you into a state of mind that was just him .Â
He kissed you, and he kept kissing you, tongue sliding between your wet, parted lips and licking into your mouth softly and almost sloppily. His hands started to move on their own accord, one upward toward the small of your back, lifting your shirt ever so slightly.
Your hands had started to wander too, without you realizing it. They were now flat against his chest, feeling the fast beating of his heart against your palm, and the other moved downward, gently grazing his ribs.Â
He shuddered against you, eyes flickering open and lips parting from yours. He realized too that his hand had wandered, feeling the heat of your skin against his own hand, and he looked up at you, eyes questioning. You sucked in a soft breath, leaning away from Steve.Â
âSorry,â he said, referring to his hand that was moving up your shirt. You sighed deeply.Â
Steveâs eyes had fallen, but when they did they caught the sudden movement of your hands. You were grabbing onto the hem of your shirt, and he snapped his head upward. No words escaped his mouth as he watched you remove your shirt and told him the same thing he told you on New Years⊠â donât be.â
â Fuck ,â Steve said, wishing his eyes would adjust better, and he heard you laugh quietly, as if someone will hear you both, and you grabbed his hands, making them move to your abdomen.Â
âAre you okay with this?â you asked him this time, perhaps a little too late, but you werenât really thinking.Â
âHow could I not be? Youâre so god damn beautiful,â he told you, and you melted into his lap when he did. He chuckled sweetly at you, then leaned up to kiss you again before his hands started to move against you, and he said again, breathlessly, â God damn âŠâÂ
He sounded nervous as he then bit down on his lower lip, feeling your skin tremble underneath his touch. Goosebumps followed where his hands started to move, just over your sides and then upwards until he was touching your breasts.Â
You hummed when he did, back arching slightly and he licked his lips, eyes moving from your breasts back up to you. He leaned in, pressing gentle kisses onto the skin of your neck, your collarbone, and lower to the mounds of your breast.Â
You threw your head back softly, mouth falling open as the sensation of him kissing you where you were most sensitive. His brown eyes stayed drawn on you, and he drew his lips away to kiss back up your neck and just underneath your chin.Â
His hands followed, now on the back of your hair as he brought you forward to crash your lips together in a more fervent kiss, more desperate, and hot. His tongue swirled in your mouth, colliding with yours as he drank you up second by second.Â
His arms then were wrapped around you, feeling the slight tremble of your legs and before you knew it, he was leaning away and making you lay down. You fell against the soft blankets beneath you, arms falling over your head and Steve had taken his shirt off as well before he settled on his side next to you.Â
His eyes were dark, you could tell that much by the light of the flames, and you reached your hand forward, falling into the temptation to touch his chest that was full of hair. He released a breath through his nose at your touch, smiling as he was amused. It had been a while since heâd been with anyone intimately like this, and when he felt your hand massaging his chest, he remembered how past partners had done the same. It felt sweeter coming from you though, and he placed his hand over yours and leaned in to press a chaste kiss onto your lips before moving your hand away to place a kiss against that to, then place it back over your head.Â
He had other ideas, anyway.Â
âIs this what you want?â he asked, voice almost a whisper.Â
âIs this what you want?â you asked him back, voice a little shaky. He wasnât ashamed to reply yes , and you stared at him for a long second before nodding, saying yes, me too .Â
He smiled softly, eyes drawing over your face and down your body before he brought his hand upward, stopping at your lips. You kissed the fingers there before parting your lips for him, tremors rushing down your body as he pressed his fingers inside of your mouthâŠ
He didnât ask you again, and neither did youâŠnot when his fingers were buried deep inside of you, making you come undone, not when the rest of your clothes came off, when you kissed each other all overâŠespecially not when you were underneath him, his hips thrusting at a languid, sensual pace, his length pumping in and out of you.
The fire was dying beside you, but you didnât need it anymore. You and Steve were keeping each other warm.Â
You were caged in underneath him, seeing nothing but Steve gazing lovingly at you from above. His chest hair rubbed against your own chest, creating a delicious friction with every thrust of his hips that filled you up.Â
Your hand dragged across his back, your nails scratching his shoulder blades, making pleasurable chills run up and down his back. His mouth was hovering just above yours, parted and releasing soft grunts and pants that intertwined with your own. Then, he was leaning down, lips only grazing yours as his tongue touched yours as his hips moved faster. He grunted, moving away as he did so.
Your back arched upwards, breasts pressing against his chest tightly and moaned his name out softly. He looked back down at you, smiling almost lazily. He pressed his lips against your cheek, before resting his head on your forehead, keeping his brown, hazy eyes open and on you.Â
You tensed up underneath him, heart thumping out of your chest and lips releasing a cracked moan of his name as pleasurable heat washed over you for the second time that night. Steve kissed you, riding you through it, and whispered sweet nothing against your lips as he too came undone.
⧠⧠â§
It was warm when you woke up, your body cocooned in the thick covers you brought in the living room the night before. You were immediately met with an ache that buzzed over your entire body, but it was not unwelcome. It was a reminder of what just happened the night before, of the night you spent with Steve.Â
Your eyes fluttered open then, adjusting as you stared up at the ceiling of your living room. Heat encompassed over you at the thought of last night, at the thought of Steve, and you looked next to you, expecting to see him, wanting to see him, but the space next to you was empty. You frowned then, starting to sit up when you heard movement in your kitchen.Â
You sat up completely, turning your head and peering into the kitchen, only to see that man you were expecting to see laying in the pile of blankets next to you standing in front of your stove, his hair sticking it various directions and only wearing his boxers and an apron.Â
It was a sight that took your breath away, especially when you could make out the marks that were left on his neck by you .
Then, you smelled the killer breakfast he was making. Eggs, baconâŠwas he making pancakes ? That made your stomach suddenly growl, and as if Steve had heard that, he was turning his head and meeting your eyes.Â
âGood morning,â Steve called to you, his lips pulled upward in a sweet smile. A smile was brought to your face, cheeks feeling even warmer as he said, âHungry?âÂ
You started to move to stand, tearing your eyes from Steve as you searched for an article of clothing to put on, only for your eyes to land on the stain left on your carpet.Â
âOhâŠoh damn ,â you said, âWhen did that happen?âÂ
Steve placed the bacon heâd just finished cooking onto a plate when he turned to see what you were talking about, and instantly he cringed when he saw you staring at the wine stain. His memory of the night wasnât that hazy, but he could not recall how the spill even happened. It was a little lighter though, considering he spent a good 20 minutes after waking up trying to clean it.Â
âI really tried to clean it,â Steve told you, wiping his hands with a paper towel.Â
You could only laugh, turning and looking up at Steve as he came into the living room.
âIt mustâve happenedâŠwell⊠yeah ,â you said, purposely not saying when you guys started kissing, and you turned your head to see Steve holding your sweater out to you, a smile on lips, and cheeks dusted pink.Â
â Yeah , I figured,â he said, understanding what you meant. You thanked him quietly as you took the sweater and he turned away, back toward the kitchen as he told you that he hoped you didnât mind him making a big breakfast like this.Â
You put your sweater on, then found your undergarments and placed those on too. The hem of your sweater stopped just below your thighs, and you finally moved to stand as you said, âNo, no I donât mind at allâŠâ
Steve was holding two plates now, flashing you another sweet grin before setting them down on the small dining room table you had in the kitchen. You noticed even coffee was made, steam rising from the mug and as you got closer, you noticed that he had even prepared it the way you did. He mustâve watched you make yours the night beforeâŠ
You sat down in the chair, right in front of the plate and coffee and when you saw the fluffy pancakes, you sighed with delight, âGod, I fucking love pancakesâŠâ You took the syrup from the middle of the table.
Steve laughed at this, taking the seat across from you. He had discarded the apron, choosing to just be shirtless which you mildly appreciated as the pancakes had consumed your hungry self entirely.Â
âI remembered you told me that,â he told you as he took the syrup you were holding out for him. You paused as you sliced a part of the pancake with your fork, and glanced at him. He was looking at you, still smiling, and he said, âGo on and taste it. I wasnât lying when I said I make good pancakes.âÂ
You did as told, Steve watching you intently for a reaction, and you hummed, and nodded as you chewed. They were the fluffiest, perhaps most perfect pancakes youâve ever had. Steve had not been lying that day in the grocery store back in Fall, and had you already not been in love with the guy, this wouldâve been the dealbreaker.Â
âItâs delicious ,â you said finally, but you didnât need to tell Steve that. He was already smirking smugly as he said, âI knowâ before taking a bite of his own pancake.Â
You ate the rest of your breakfast pretty quickly, as it seemed your previous nightly activity drained all of your energy and finally, as you both washed the dishes, you asked him if the blizzard cleared out.Â
âYes,â he replied, then quickly added, âStreets arenât clear stillâŠso I think Iâm gonna have to stick around for a bit longer.âÂ
Steve was looking at you a certain way, brown eyes telling you something he didnât dare want to say out loud. Your heart flipped in your chest, then warmth that would turn into heat flooded you all over. Neither of you had said anything upfront about your night together, like you were avoiding it, but he wanted to stay âŠand without checking if he was lying about the streets not being cleared yet, you were more than happy to let him stay.
You spent the rest of the morning in your bedroom, tangled into the sheets with Steve. There were no excuses now, as the wine couldâve been blamed for the night prior. The only thing that was making your mind hazy was Steve himself, and the feeling of his hair between your fingertips as your back arched and you moaned his nameâŠ
⧠⧠â§
Steve was staring at the ceiling of your bedroom, one arm wrapped around you and the other folded and resting underneath his head. He liked this, he liked the way you felt in his arms, your bodies pressed tightly together, legs tangled together underneath your blankets.Â
It had been almost 15 minutes since holding you like this, just laying together in silence and he liked that too.Â
You shifted in your spot gently, untangling your legs from Steveâs in order to stretch them and he looked down at you as you decided to move away from him completely, saying, âIâm gonna turn the heater off for a bit.âÂ
Steve nodded, as you removed yourself from the bed, holding one of your loose sheets around you. He watched you go, heart fluttering in his chest as you flashed him a sweet grin before turning and disappearing into your hallway.Â
He sighed, smiling to himself as he moved to sit up and then run his hands through his now slightly greasy hair. There was a mirror on the dresser to his left, so he could see just how messy his face was, but he could also see the fresh marks you left on parts of his neck and chest. Right next to the ones from last night. He even touched them, feeling his stomach flood with heat, wondering if either of you could go another round because after all it had been quite a while and you just made Steve absolutely insatiable that he didnât even want to leave after breakfast.
You had come back, holding a pile of clothes in your arms. It was the clothes Steve had discarded in the living room the night before and just never put back on.Â
âHere,â you said cheekily as you placed them on the bed then went to the dresser. Steve took that moment to reach out and grab you. You gasped softly as he did, and he was grinning widely at you as he pulled you onto his lap.Â
âHi,â Steve told you, hands sprawled out on your bare thighs, gently squeezing the flesh there.
â Hey ,â you replied breathlessly, moving your hands toward his hair as if it were second nature by now. He sighed through his nose and leaned up to kiss you again, and already, again , you were putty in his lap. You werenât sure if you were ever going to get enough of Steve Harrington, especially now that youâve gotten an actual taste of him.Â
God, it was so easy to fall in love with him and you werenât sure youâd ever want to be with anyone but him.
It was that thought that had you pausing, and Steve had felt you suddenly go still against him. He opened his eyes and leaned away to give you a curious look before asking what was wrong. You swallowed thickly, leaning away from him as well, but not leaving his lap.Â
âSteve IâŠwhatâŠwhat is this?â you asked. He blinked gently, and you could see his eyes grow thoughtful before he peered back up at you. He was going to say something, but for some reason you were suddenly scared he was going to say it was a one time thing (thought one time turned into a few times that your sheets were gonna smell like him for a while), so you said, âIâm not expecting anythingâŠwe were pretty drunk last nightâŠâÂ
Steve stared at you, before he licked his lips and said, âWe werenât drunk this morningâŠâÂ
The dread in your stomach gently faded at that, and you replied, âI donât knowâŠthose pancakes were so good they did something to me.â
He laughed at that, and his laugh made you laugh as well and he kept his gaze on you the entire time, as if he loved watching you laugh and smile. You pressed your lips together in a smile, and he said, âI donâtâŠI donât want it to be a one time thing, if thatâs what youâre asking.âÂ
His expression had grown serious, and his hands that were squeezing the flesh of your thighs turned into gentle rubs, as if he was nervous.Â
â I like you ,â he said, though his voice sounded a little forced, because he didnât want to use the word âlikeâ because his feelings for you were more than that, though you didnât know that. You would take what you could though, and force yourself to use the same word as well, even though it was quite clear to you that you were completely in love with him.Â
âSoâŠwhat now then?â you asked softly.Â
He sucked in a breath. The truth was, Steve didnât know, well he did know, but he still wasnât sure about it because he had suddenly thought of his daughter. The thought of Cassie made Steve frown, and a weird feeling crossed his chest that made him doubt the decision he was about to make. Steve wanted to be with you, but his stupid mind had started to talk him out of it, telling him he wasnât going to work , you didnât deserve his flaky nature, or to wait on him when he was too busy for youâŠhe didnât want to do that to you, just like he had told Robin the first night she came back to Hawkins.Â
But then he also thought about the other thing Robin had told himâŠheâd be crazy if he didnât at least try .
Alas, it was the thought of Cassie that halted any decision making on Steveâs part, as he realized that he was supposed to pick her up almost an hour ago, which was not helping the case in his mind. He forgot his own damn daughter, not that Delilahâs mother minds, nor does Cassie and Dee herself, but he still felt horrible.Â
âShit, Iâm sorry, I have to go, â Steve told you, failing to realize before he said it that he didnât answer your question as he gently moved you off of him.
 Your heart had fallen down to your stomach, and Steve caught the expression on your face as he pulled on his boxers, and was grabbing his jeans. It was one of heartbreak, and it tore him inside to see it. It made him pause with his jeans halfway on, and he opened his mouth but nothing came out as he felt ridiculous with his jeans only up to his knees, so he pulled it on and buttoned it before walking toward you.Â
âNo! No, that- that wasnât my answer,â he told you, fear in his voice that he messed up.Â
âSteve, itâs okay-â you tried to say, but he reached over to gently touch your cheek and kiss you without really thinking. You went still as his lips pressed gently against yours, and he leaned with a soft sigh.Â
âIâm late to pick Cassie up, thatâs all,â he assured, his hand still on your suddenly very hot cheek, âI justâŠI want to talk again, okay?âÂ
âOkay,â you said, because you were at a loss of words of what his sudden kiss meant and didnât know what else to say. Steve seemed content with that and nodded, before he gently swiped his thumb under your eye and told you earnestly, âIâll call you.âÂ
Now you could only nod, and he returned that nod before grabbing his shirt and putting it on. You could only sit on the bed, the sheet still the only thing covering your bare body, and you watched him quickly put his shirt on, inside out but you doubt he cared as his concern was forgetting to pick his daughter up.Â
He did spare you one last glance and small good-bye though before he was rushing out of your room and down the hall, where you could hear him cursing as he put his shoes on before you heard him open the door to your garage.Â
When you could no longer hear him in your house, you suddenly felt very cold without him there, and you hugged the sheet around you tighter, already missing him and the warmth he always brought you.Â
And you waited for that call, standing idly by the phone whenever you were home, keeping your stereo off even as you eventually scrubbed away at the wine stain on your carpet that would just not come out. When you folded all the blankets, washed the wine glasses, and tossed the empty one in the trash. It was pushed to the back of your mind for about an hour, when you called a towing company to get your car from Starcourt, and take it to the mechanic in Downtown Hawkins. When you got home though, it was night time, and you waited.
You waited for it, even the following day, and the day after thatâŠyou would even find yourself gazing at the door, wondering if he was going to walk through those doors, apologizing for not calling because heâd rather see you instead.Â
But he didnât. Steve was never the one to walk through the office doors in the days following the night and morning you spent together, was never the one on the other side of the line if your phone did happen to ring. You told yourself that you werenât hurt, trying to convince yourself that when you said you werenât expecting anything you were telling the truth.Â
You fell in love with Steve Harrington, and thenâŠwell, you were sure that if he didnât call or make the effort to see and speak to you even after everything he told you before he left your house in such a rush to pick Cassie upâŠthen it must be his way of saying that nothing, nothing was to come from what happened between the two of you.Â
He was busy, you knew that, he told you relationships werenât his forte from the beginning, everyone did, and yet, he was so easy to like, even easier to fall in love with that you didnât stand a chance. Still, your heart couldnât try and rationalize his actions like your brain, and you were completely and utterly heartbroken.Â
And then, you wondered just what the hell was Steve freaking Harringtonâs reason for all this.
#its here#late#but HERE#listen to how deep is your love if you CAN#i wrote SO MUCh#steve harrington#it's so long i dont even wanna give a word count aslaskjaklsja#cause oof#stay tuned for spring#it'll be shorter than this bad boy#i say but then i end up writing for a thousand years#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington imagine#single dad steve au#stranger things#stranger things imagine#confetti series#lys writes again
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for the wip guessing game: need
âOkay Professor.â Alex looks at him with defiance in his deep brown eyes, registering the shiver that runs through the man before him when he uses his title. Heâs got the upper hand now. âHere is how this is going to play out. I am going to get down on my knees under that table and take you into my mouth for the entirety of your office hours. If any student decides they need your guidanceâŠâ he lets his voice trail off, rounding the grand mahogany table and settles in between Henryâs legs. âYouâll have to have them while I have you in my mouth.â
Okay Iâm supposed to be showing one sentence I think but prof!Henry has my heart so get a whole paragraph!!
I hope this has peaked your interest đ and thank you for askinnggg đ«¶đœđ«¶đœđ«¶đœ
Fanfiction WiP guessing game
#wip#wip game#thanks for the ask!#professor henry#smut#i wrote so much#rwrb#firstprince#rwrb fanfiction#rwrb fanfic
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Love talking about our Celestial Jester story to our wife cause then when we say something in public relating to the thing, like whispering but pretending to yell, "THAT'S FROM MY COOOO-" and then we get weird looks sometimes and it's fucking hilarious
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đ đ„
đ âą how did you get into writing fanfiction?Â
I started reading fanfiction in the winter of 2016-17; I got into The Adventure Zone and started reading the TAZ reddit, and then all the good art linked to tumblr, and then tumblr had fic, and then, well. (there is a Kravitz/Taako/Magnus tentacles fic that is very personally important to me lol)
I was starting to explore the idea of writing fic (I've written original fiction since I was a little kid), and then Griffin dropped the Stolen Century reveal, and I already really loved Madame Director, and I had a crush on Magnus as a character, and then it turned out they were the same age and spent a hundred years together and as I said at the time, you can't tell me that didn't happen. And thus the launch of my rarepair, and somehow it was both that I needed to write some horny bullshit and also I needed to explore a bunch of thoughts about time and grief and loneliness, and here we are.
(I also cannot underestimate the effect of having gone off of my last antidepressant in January 2017; a lot of things were going on in my brain that spring!)
đ„ âą name one internet reference that will always make you laughÂ
goddamn I love a spiders georg reference
#the way that TAZ Balance in that winter and spring were exactly what I needed at exactly the time I needed them#I wrote SO MUCH#I cannot emphasize how much I was writing in the spring and then summer of 2017#also I think the first two full pages of that ship are just me paddling my little canoe#my writing#my fic#ask games#magcretia georg over here lololololol
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haiii :3 what are your thoughts on these ships? Snowman/Ms. Paint, Damara/Kankri, & Jake/Hal
haaaai :3c .. this ask is the best because it just screams " i like a little annoyance in my relationships "
snowman/ms. paint: at first seeing this ask i was like " meh... idk... " but the more i thought abt it.. the more i like this a little? i think i might see what you're going for with this and im interested. it has potential for chaos and i think thats why im most interested honestly. im trying to see yuri angst
damara/kankri is certainly a nightmare frankly. but like, not in the insult way, i just thought abt it and said " oh boy. " im thinking of like kismesis but also moiraillgance.. call me crazy.. though realistically i dont think it would go anywhere but i wish it would because i REALLY want to see what unfolds. just a sidenote this reminded me of the early days i joined the fandom i got teleported back to be 11 years old
jake/hal : imma be real w you i actually dont like hal with anyone but i like this the Most and i start randomly thinking of them sometimes so maybe that shows my true desires. their convos do something to me man and hal is my favourite dirk maybe. I actually have a jake/hal drawing that is utterly violent so im not sure if i can even post it on here but its the specific flavor i like my dirkjake thus jakehal is like that too, and i just think thats even more interesting when hal doesnt have a human body. sorry im letting my crazy get out I LIKE THIS
overall these ships r like if u made some characters go to " bitches that annoy you in the way u get more attracted to them " island and this is what happens. i <3 u anon
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Hello guys đ
I haven't updated my book I'm writing so I think I should before there's a billion chapters to read. So I reintroduce my Gone but Never Forgotten AU from rottmnt. It starts at the beginning of the movie and moves on from there.
Chapter One:
https://www.wattpad.com/story/347350097?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create_preview&wp_uname=storiesfromthebrain&wp_originator=iPC%2F95rhYCL%2F6LdYwH0j4hlYKcBaRugGcfMs8njI4CpIdmDoHt4F1ISl2iXV3rYa6sDiPQ7a1UD89yz9Gx3BcUkwWTIq6S42S2RqHpd0Wa80L3y4vCzQ3UNk8gWN6hGI
Anywho, I changed the title and picture from last time and in this AU we have a lot of people. So it has all four turtles with three extra future kids and extra siblings. Venus de Milo, Jennika, and Usagi (who actually have a show/appeared) are siblings (which yes I know Usagi isn't related to them but I do have an explanation on that) I have a oc named Dandelion and one more turtle, Lisa, from one of the comics. (Lisa is taken care of by Jennika) Now, here's some pictures for you guys.
I have lots of pictures of them, anyways I have chapter thirteen up right now so go check it out on wattpad. :)
#rottmnt#rottmntau#rottmnt future timeline#information#gone but not forgotten AU#gbngAU#update#i wrote so much#good morning#rottmntocs#wattpadstroy#im so tired
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terribly charmed by my sibling sending me a voice message that just said âi just always take ibuprofen at the wrong time. i had a headache all afternoon, from three to eight pm and then i took an ibuprofen half an hour before the headache went away! i could have just saved an ibuprofen!â
#text#edited to actually transcribe the message because it's so much funnier than what i wrote#notifications are muted
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If you saw me agreeing with being annoyed about wasted helium in a fictional context and were like "I bet she has some more helium based anger in her life" good news LAPD fucked up a raid on a medical facility they thought was a pot farm and flat out ruined thousands of gallons of the stuff.
#Back in the day the lab I worked in went through the stuff at a hell of a rate#But that was to actually do something at least#It's also fucking humiliating that a SF paper gets to write up our cops being dipshits#I am so fucking mad about both these aspects the wasted helium and that SF gets to laugh at us#I wrote a very very angry email to my city councilor but I do that like twice a week and I don't think he reads them or anything#So I suspect this one will also not move much
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#bwark#pkmn leaks#can we stop labelling a bunch of devs as terrible for literally just writing mythology that didn't even make it inti the game and wasn't#supposed to be seen by the public#esp the people naming and shaming the person who wrote them like jesus christ there's literal doxxing going on rn can we be mature#and like i said last night we have our own fair share of fucked up fairy tales and folklore in the west#so this discussion is giving the vibes of ''anime is uniquely perverted unlike our pure and innocent western animation''#like why are we singling out japanese mythology here lmao#ofc you're allowed to be uncomfortable with the leaks. i am and im definitely glad they were scrapped. but can we also be mature about it#it literally is not as big or horrible on gamefreak's end as people are making it out to be#it was scrapped for a reason. it was too much for this video game for children. can we move on or are people gonna make the same unfunny#joke about it#ask to tag?
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dungeon meshi as my favorite new girl scenes (and i change drawing process halfway through sshhh dont be scared its normal i swear)
#basically i found this note from 2021 where i wrote all of these and MORE i see new girl when i close my eyes#this is by me for me#i love them all so much#my art#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#senshi#laios#chilchuck#chilchuk tims#marcille donato#marcille#falin touden#falin#laios touden#kabru#izutsumi#senshi of izganda#dungeon meshi fanart#fanart
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As a writer, I love going back through the comments I've gotten on AO3. I promise that the minute you take of your time has been appreciated for hours/months/years
#I still get comments on a fic I wrote about??? 5 years ago?? and it means so much to me#It's also genuinely such a nice boost of confidence#It's really easy as humans to dismiss anything old of yours as bad#But it makes me happy knowing I've improved#Your comment saying I'm a good writer based on that? Oh BAYBEE it's been constant practice since then
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GUESSS WHO FINALLY FINISHED THE HAITHAM FANFICCCC
(me)
iâll post on the weekend guys cus i have exam pls like đ€đ€đ€ its good i swear but i had to grammar check it a bit because i always write it when im tired (oops) a
#haitham fanfic#alhaitham#3000 words#new time record for me#i wrote so much#its so fluffy guys#its so cute#digital footprint going crazy rn
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The hubris I face daily, thinking I have finally conquered my foe, has once again bested me.
#I read a prompt wrong#I wrote so much#help#dyslexia strikes again#it was like 5 paragraphs before I realized#god fucking dammit
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader ââ an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best ââ if you've been wrong the whole time ââ that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack ââ i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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I'm reading the lord of the rings and I'm once again amazed at how... good most characters are. Like, they are genuinely good people. They are a bunch of kindhearted, gracious, caring people, coming together under adverse circumstances and trying to figure things out and find a solution and support each other through it all. Like Frodo and Sam meet Faramir and Faramir is a bit suspicious at first and kind of implies Frodo may be a spy, and then when he hears his story and he's like Frodo, I pressed you so hard at first. Forgive me! It was unwise in such an hour and place. And this blows.my.mind. He wasn't even particularly mean or threatening to him in the beginning, he's just such a kind, considerate man, recognizing the kindness and honesty of another man. And they're all like that. Even Gollum starts slowly changing (for a short while) when he encounters Frodo because that's the thing about kindness and humility and grace, they are contagious. They transform people, even a creature like Gollum cannot be immune to that. Like, you may consider all this simple and basic and I get it but, hear me out. It is quite rare to see that in modern media and it is also pretty difficult to pull off in a way that is not corny and simplistic. It is mind blowing that you actually don't have to present the entire palette of human cruelty and vice in order to tell a compelling story, contrary to popular belief. Lotr does the exact opposite, and it is just beautiful and it warms my heart. Especially taking into consideration tolkien's pretty grim growing-up experience, him being a double orphan without a home, raised between an orphanage and a priest and having no family apart from his brother and then the war and then he almost dies and then he's poor as hell and then a second war and it all makes sense somehow. He writes to his wife who is also an orphan two days before the marriage "the next few years will bring us joy and content and love and sweetness such as could not be if we hadn't first been two homeless children and had found one another after long waiting" and, yes, yes! The love and sweetness just radiate from his work, the entire lotr series is a little radiant bubble of hope and love and grace that he imagined in his head to deal with a dismal reality and then he just gave that to the world, and isn't that what imagination and art is all about after all?
#i literally wrote this because faramir said 'forgive me'#like that was the inspiration here#terminal brain damage don't mind me#BUT#i have a point#i do!#i am cringe but i am free#i love these books so much#i love this man so much#lotr#the two towers#frodo baggins#faramir#gollum#the lord of the rings#aspa rambles#tolkien#aspa reads tolkien
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the fritter (frin critter)
#inspo struck right after posting the last two. some kind of a hermit crab. a snail#they think they look all cool and mysterious under their safety shelter but if u remove it they're a disastrous puffball of uncombed fur#the hat is not accurate to an adult human btw. i tried to put them in a full size hat and they were lost forever. this is a child sized hat#they need to swap out for bigger hats as they grow#MY FRIENDS WROTE AND DREW SO MUCH FOR THE FRITTER I HOPE THEY CAN REBLOG AND ADD BC THEYRE SO GOOD <3#we started making a whole au about critter species in the wild and how they interact and survive. very fascinating.#i need to collect all the worldbuilding into one place eventually. rn all i'll say is.. overworked odile petsmart employee (tealgoat's idea#isat critters#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#my art#a6se/twohats (this tag only) implication then is that loop is bald i guess aksdks. loop = wild shorthair. fritter = domestic longhair.
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